14 Stories That Prove You’ll Never Be Bored After Having Children

Sometimes a child’s way of thinking can’t be measured with the logic of adults because little kids don’t have the affirmations or stereotypes that we tend to obtain with age. They look at the world with their eyes open wide and believe that life is not limited by any rules or restrictions. This is why children’s behavior or words can really dumbfound us sometimes. In this article, we put together some stories about children who show off their openness and innocence in all its glory.

• Me talking to my 6-year-old son:
  Me: Cover your mouth when you cough.
  6yo: I do, but coughing pushes my hand away.

• Whenever I get discouraged and want to quit something, I remember the words of my then 3-year-old after she puked carrots all over the living room floor: “I’m gonna need more carrots.” © JessicaValenti / Twitter
• “Choose whatever you want,” I said to my daughter in the supermarket. I was ready to carry pounds of ice cream, and 200 teddy bears home. But my daughter walked carefully along the shelves and then whispered, “I want a receipt, mom.”

• Recently, I noticed that my 6th graders had started using perfume. I was slightly surprised about it, but didn’t see this as a problem because it’s better if there is the smell of different perfumes in the classroom than the smell of old socks, for example. But today, I found out that the reason for their sudden love for perfume was our math teacher’s allergy. I had to ask their parents to keep perfume away from them.
• My 6-year-old is asking for “a tarantula in a cage” for Christmas, and I, for one, am grateful he thought of a cage but even more grateful that he has 11 months to forget he ever thought of it. © dad_on_my_feet / Twitter

• After the usual machine gun style question and answer session with my 5-year-old, my wife asked her why she asks so many questions. Her response, “Umm. Well, I don’t know anything.” © minusthemaliciousnes / Reddit
• Me: Did you finish your homework yet?
  8-year-old: No, I was busy.
  Me: With what?
  8: Putting it off. © XplodingUnicorn / Twitter

• When my kiddo was about 4 years old, I heard my son talking to himself in the bathroom and went to check on him. He was using a small piece of cardboard to push a spider in the direction of the bathtub — talking to the spider the entire time. "“Excuse me, sir. Pardon me, sir, can I invite you to perhaps travel this way? Oh, no, not that way, sir. Over here, sir. Pardon me, sir, I don’t feel you’re listening...” © chickaboomba / Reddit
• Our family had lunch together. Our elder son asks:
  — Mom, is it true that every child has a father?
  — Yes.
  — Then why do we have 3 children and only one father?
• I’d picked up my son from daycare, and we were driving home when he asked:
  — Dad, how much is 2 + 3?
  — You can count it yourself.
  — I can’t.
  — Why not?
  — I’m wearing mittens.

• I had a fight with my wife yesterday. Today, I got back from work, and my 10-year-old son says, “Mom said you’re not my father, and she’s leaving us.” I’m calling my wife, she’s unavailable. There is no dinner, and there is a bag full of clothes standing next to the door. I’m sitting almost in tears. Suddenly, my wife returns. It turns out that she was at the parents’ meeting at the daycare for our daughter, the clothes in the bag were for charity, and she didn’t cook dinner because the power was out. Our son told her that she wasn’t his mom after watching some movie, and my wife replied that if this was so, then I was also not his father. And after that, she left, offended.

• 7-year-old: Are squirrels cold in the winter?
  Me: No, they have fur.
  7-year-old: Then aren’t they hot in the summer?
  Me: Maybe.
  7-year-old: We should build a squirrel pool. © XplodingUnicorn / Twitter