My Deceased BF’s Parents Are Demanding Our House, But I Refuse to Give It Up

The loss of a significant other is an incredibly challenging ordeal. However, it is often accompanied by financial disputes with relatives. Here’s a story about how parents, who kicked their son out of the house nearly 15 years ago, returned after his death to claim the home.

The author wrote:

“My boyfriend (30M, RIP) and I (33M) were together for 15 years. We met in high school and stayed together until a few months ago, when he passed away due to bone cancer.

I live in a traditional country. His parents kicked him out when he came out as gay at 17, so my family took him in, helped him finish high school, and supported him as much as they could.

After graduating, he worked hard and made good money. He saved enough to purchase a house 10 years ago and was paying the mortgage by himself. Four years ago, he was diagnosed with cancer. He reduced his working hours to focus on his health, and I stepped in to pay the mortgage.”

He went on explaining:

“It was a hard battle, but cancer took him in March. After he died, his family suddenly reappeared, expressing regret for not being in his life. As time passed, a month ago, they reached out to me asking when they could expect me to hand over the keys to the house.

I told them they can’t have the house, because it is now in my name. I bought the house from my boyfriend a year after his cancer diagnosis, so it is legally mine, and I had been paying the mortgage long before that. They got upset and said I was being unreasonable, arguing that it should legally belong to them, and that my boyfriend would have wanted them to have the house.

At first, they thought the cancer thing was an attempt to make them close again. When his health got worse, they started to believe it, but they visited him until last year when I basically begged them to go see him, they only went once. They appeared to his funeral a few hours and left, they said they couldn’t handle to see his son being buried.”

He added:

“After some thought, I told them, ’You can only have the house under one condition: you would have to ’buy’ it from me by reimbursing me for the four years of mortgage payments and take on the remaining debt.’ They said they didn’t have the money and accused me of being selfish. They proposed transferring the debt to their name without compensating me, but I declined. They got angry, and the discussion escalated to the point where they threatened to take me to court, accusing me of scamming my boyfriend to get the house.

They have been calling and texting me non-stop for the past month, threatening me. I know they can’t afford to pay me back for all the money I’ve invested in the house, but I’m conflicted. Some friends have advised me to give them the house and move on with my life, but it just doesn’t feel right to me. I’m leaning towards not giving them the house.

We didn’t live in the house, we lived at my apartment, that’s why I don’t need the house, but I just don’t feel right to give it to his parents. Also, almost all his money went to pay medical bills, he didn’t want me to put my money on it (which obviously I would have) and buying the house was the best idea we came out with to satisfy the both of us. The house is not a big one (6mts x 10mts) and also is in the suburbs, is not worth the same as in other countries, around USD$90k or a little more. I don’t need it, to be honest, but I don’t want to give it to them either. Am I wrong for refusing to hand over the house?”

Other Redditors chimed in to support him, leaving comments such as:

• You don’t find it at all suspicious that they didn’t come around until after he died? I don’t believe they regret anything, they just want his assets. I also don’t believe your boyfriend would have wanted you to give them the house. While he was alive, he would have done that to mend the relationship. But now there is no opportunity to mend the relationship. You really think he would want you to move out and give them the house? He loved you too, and I don’t think you’re thinking about that at all. You really should block their numbers and move on with your life. © WifeofBath1984 / Reddit
• Keep it. Their threat to sue is likely just a threat, but do your research now so you have an attorney if they serve you papers. Until then, ignore them like they ignored your bf. My condolences to you for your loss. © Public_Ad_9169 / Reddit
• Do NOT give them the house. There is a reason your BF “sold” the house to you and mortgage was not the one, I believe. He planned for both possibilities. He knew he could die, and he sold you the house. Seems like he wants you to have it. You were there for him through it all. You are his family. And that for a long time already. His old family doesn’t deserve anything. And they didn’t seem interested when your BF was still alive. That tells you everything. Good luck. © Hot_Pianist958 / Reddit

• You did talk about what would happen to the house after he died when you bought the house from him, and it went into your name after the cancer diagnosis. You may not realize it, but that was him making sure you would be ok. Sorry for your loss and don’t give these people anything as they couldn’t be bothered to give your partner even the slightest comfort in his last days. © Disaster_Carrot_007 / Reddit
• They are outright lying. They have no regrets. He had cancer for 4 years — where were they then? This is 100% a sleazy money grab by his family. You own the home. They have no legal or moral right to it. Block them all. © Used_Mark_7911 / Reddit
• NO, do not give them the house!!!! You were his partner! You paid for it and took care of him. Where were they???? Do not cave. I’m a widow as well, do not make any decisions the first year. Allow yourself some time. Block the toxic. They couldn’t bother when he was alive! © Outrageous_Yard_990 / Reddit

Having received such support, the author of the post replied to everyone:

“Thank you, thank you all for your kind words. I cried a lot with most of the comments. Sorry If I can’t keep the pace and reply to everyone, just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

Here’s the story of another couple who faced the challenges of cancer.