I Agreed to Be My Best Friend’s Surrogate — Years On, It Turned Into a Disaster

One concerned woman on Reddit believed she was simply helping a friend become a mother. She witnessed her friend’s heartbreaking struggle with infertility and her desperate longing to hold a baby of her own. Wanting to help, she stepped in as a surrogate. But 25 years later, the daughter she gave birth to did something so shocking that the woman now wishes she had never agreed to it. Read the full story and share your thoughts in the comments — we have a feeling this one will spark some serious debate.

A woman shared her story on Reddit, and it quickly drew attention with its shocking twist.

The OP shared, “Twenty five years ago, my close friend Clara and her husband James were struggling with infertility. Clara couldn’t conceive or use her own eggs. She asked me if I would consider carrying a baby for them to use my egg and James’s material. I had already had my two kids and was done having children, I was hesitant at first, but eventually I agreed because I wanted to help my friend become a mother.

Nine months later, their daughter Bella was born. From the start, Clara and James raised her as their own. I’ve always been ‘Auntie’ to her, just a close family friend and that’s all she ever knew.

My own kids always knew the truth, I never hid it from them. They understood that Bella was biologically related to them and that I had helped my friend start a family. I never told Bella anything because I truly didn’t feel it was my place. It was something her parents needed to decide if or when to tell her.”

Bella stumbled upon the truth by accident — and ever since, her world has been turned upside down.

The woman shared, “A few weeks ago, Bella and her fiancé were at his family’s house, and they all did one of those DNA kits for fun. When the results came back, Bella saw that she had Cuban and Black ancestry which confused her since she knows both her parents are white.

Instead of asking them, she used the combination to their safe which she had learned a while back and started going through their personal documents.

She found an old photo of me pregnant in a hospital bed with Clara holding my hand, and she also found paperwork about Clara’s infertility. After that she started pulling away, especially from Clara and none of us understood why until everything exploded.”

Bella didn’t hold back when she finally confronted her biological mother.

The woman wrote, “My family and I were over at Clara and James’s house helping with wedding prep. At one point, Clara and I were in the kitchen talking about my kids and Clara mentioned that I had paid for both of their weddings, she wished she could do the same for her daughter. Bella must have overheard, because she walked in and suddenly said that I should be paying for her wedding too since she’s also my daughter.

I was totally thrown off. Clara asked what she meant, and Bella just snapped. She said I was her real mother and accused Clara and James of lying to her. She said she had grown up in a fake home while my kids got the life she was supposed to have. She slammed the photo on the table and stormed out with her fiancé.

The next day, Clara asked me to come over. Bella didn’t want to, but showed up later after Clara begged her. She told us about the DNA test and going through the safe, and how she felt like this answered something she had always felt deep down.

She said she’s always been jealous of my kids, not just for their vacations or home life, but also because I gave them a good life without anyway hardships. She said she still loves Clara but feels like she never really belonged, and now she thinks I’m the missing piece. She even called Clara a child snatcher.”

The OP is now desperate, as her good intentions have backfired in the worst possible way.

The woman shared, “That’s when I stepped in. I told her she needed to stop talking to Clara like that. She turned to me and said, ’You’re my real mother, why don’t you love me?’ I told her as calmly as I could that I was nothing more than an egg donor, I told her I love her like a niece and that’s all.

Clara is her mother, not me. I wasn’t the one who raised her, I wasn’t there for her childhood. Clara was. I never saw her as my daughter because that wasn’t the role I had in her life.

She left again crying and since then has sent me over twenty messages. Some are angry and some are pleading. She’s asked me to meet with her and James because she says we’re her real parents. She says she loves Clara but insists she’s always felt a disconnect and that I’m the reason why.

Clara and I have been in touch since the blow up, and we’re both heartbroken. My husband thinks I should have a one on one with Bella, but honestly I feel like there’s nothing left to say. I didn’t raise her. Clara did. She was always a wonderful mother and up until now she and Bella had a great relationship. I don’t know why Bella is spiraling like this.

Clara was there for every birthday, every school day, every scraped knee, heartbreak, and milestone. I made peace with my role in Bella’s life a long time ago. I never saw myself as her mother, not because I didn’t care, but because that was never the agreement. I helped a friend become a mother, and I kept that promise. Am I wrong in this situation?”

The post quickly went viral, sparking over 2,400 responses from Reddit users eager to weigh in.

• This is a conversation you have very early on. As soon as the child can understand, you give an age appropriate explanation and add to that as they grow up.
  I’ve seen it with adopted children where it blows up in the same way and it’s critical that children learn this in a safe controlled manner. It’s no wonder Bella is having an existential bloody crisis; she learned this late in the worst way possible and that’s her parent’s fault. © SneezlesForNeezles / Reddit
• Which isn’t surprising when you find out that literally everyone in your life has been keeping a pretty massive secret from you. She should have been told years ago. © Awkward_Un1corn / Reddit
• This is why my son has known since his second birthday that he grew in his auntie’s tummy and that his auntie grew him for us because we couldn’t grow him ourselves.
  Can’t imagine him just randomly finding out as an older child or teenager
  You are NTA but Clara is for not telling her the truth about where she came from sooner. © Rhylian85 / Reddit
• I don’t know why anyone expected anything else. Many, many late discovery adoptees are furious, and I don’t see how this is any different.
  Her entire concept of self has been a lie. It’s one thing to already know that you don’t know, another thing entirely to have it ripped from you when you thought you did.
  And to have other people in the family/friend circle know, when she didn’t? Come on. Imagine it.
  She should have been told before she was old enough to truly understand.
  They need family counselling, and you need to work on your compassion. It’s lovely that you’re loyal to your bestie, and I’m sure she’s hurting... but it’s not all about her. © TotallyAwry / Reddit

And here’s another story of a woman who always dreamed of becoming a mother — but not like this. After her husband’s ex dies, Megan faces an impossible choice: adopt the orphaned child or risk her marriage and live with the guilt. With her husband grieving and family pressuring her, she’s torn between her mental health and a little girl who’s lost everything.