I Revealed My Real Income to My Husband, and It Ended Our Marriage
Financial issues are among the most critical in marriage. And not just in cases where there is a shortage of money, but also when there is plenty. A 33-year-old woman wrote to us, realizing that her marriage was over after she told her husband the truth about her financial situation.
Helen has shared her complicated story with us.
Helen, 33, recently wrote to our editorial team, sharing a story that had devastating consequences for her once-happy family life. She began her letter by saying, “My husband Jake and I have been happily married for over five years. This is not the first marriage for either of us. I went through a painful divorce in the past, and Jake lost his ex-wife to cancer three years ago. Despite these challenges, our family life has been happy, and I have been in love with Jake since the day we met. I truly believed he loved me for who I am. But recent events have shattered this belief.”
Helen continued, “My ex-husband, Ian, is a successful businessman who owns a large law firm and has a substantial income. Ian cheated on me with a friend, which led to our divorce. He felt especially guilty because, at the time of his infidelity, we were both going through a tough period, having suffered the loss of our stillborn child.”
Helen added, “Driven by his guilt, Ian arranged to pay me a significant sum of money and insisted on supporting me financially after our divorce. Each month, on a specific day, he provides me with an amount that covers all my living expenses, with some left over.”
Helen confessed that she didn’t spend her money wisely.
Helen continues her story, explaining, “With the money Ian gave me, I could have easily lived a life of leisure, traveling or indulging in other pleasures without working. However, I chose not to live that way. I have a job at a large company and earn a decent salary. My husband, Jake, knew only about my income from my job. I kept it a secret that I was receiving financial support from my ex.”
Helen revealed, “I often spent money on my husband, buying him nice things. I bought him a new car, expensive watches for his collection, and many other gifts. He never asked for these things; it was entirely my decision to please him because I loved him. I also spoiled his family, buying expensive presents for his parents, my in-laws, and even his cousins. Whenever we visited them, I would bring a variety of nice surprises. I paid for Jake’s sister’s education and helped his brother with rent multiple times. I believed my generosity was accepted with gratitude, but I was terribly mistaken.”
Helen revealed her secret to her husband and since then things changed.
Helen wrote, “Once, Jake came to me, distressed about his mom needing urgent and expensive medical treatment. He said his parents couldn’t afford it and asked if I could help. This was when I revealed that I’ve been receiving financial support from my ex and had the necessary funds to cover his mom’s treatment. I was eager to help because their pain was my pain, too. However, the price I paid for my kindness was too high.”
Helen continued, “When Jake learned about the actual amount of money I had, he changed instantly. His behavior became quite appalling. He began referring to my money as ’our money’ and insisted I use ’our money’ to buy him the luxury car he had always dreamed of. He also started insisting that we buy a new house together. Instead of a small birthday gift, he wanted me to fund a trip for him to see the world, including his whole family. He said, ’That would be a really nice and decent present that will reflect how much you love me and my parents.’”
Helen added, “I finally decided to have a talk with him about all his demands. I told him it was inappropriate to learn about my money and then start making demands. I explained that while I had no problems using my finances for our relationship, he shouldn’t automatically expect me to fund everything he wanted, including trips for his entire family. Jake seemed very ashamed and admitted that he had gotten carried away and too excited. I told him I understood, but his behavior was extremely disrespectful and made me feel like my money suddenly mattered more than our relationship.”
Things got even worse, and the family is falling apart.
Helen wrote, “For a little while, it seemed all was well between us. Jake never mentioned my money again and stopped making demands. But then, during a small argument that escalated, he said, ’Well, you don’t even want to use what you have for us, so maybe you’ve never really cared about me.’ He got really quiet afterward, as though he knew it was an inappropriate thing to say, and we didn’t talk for three days. I was furious and planned to discuss it with him.”
Helen added, “However, this incident proved to be the fatal blow to our relationship. Jake went too far by telling many people about my money, despite me asking him to keep it private. He told them I was really wealthy and could afford many things. I found out accidentally, and that was the last straw.”
Helen continued, “I asked him to move out the next day. Since then, Jake has been calling me, texting me, and even making unwanted visits. I’m desperate and torn. On one hand, I still love him and want to give our relationship another chance. But on the other hand, I can’t ignore the fact that he broke my trust by sharing something so personal. I’ve lost a five-year marriage and might lose a few friends as well.”
It’s not an isolated case when marriages break down because of money. Here’s the story of another woman who found out that her husband married her only for money.