My Friend Came to Visit Me, and It Irrevocably Ended Our Friendship

Our reader Andrea wrote to us. She is 37 years old and has been friends with her close friend Sarah for over 20 years. In recent years, they have lived in different cities, and when Sarah decided to visit Andrea, she was over the moon with happiness. However, this visit turned out to be the end of their long-standing friendship.

Andrea and Sarah have shared a close friendship for many years.

Andrea, our loyal reader, shared that she never thought she'd become involved in the most shocking and distressing situation of her life. She couldn't have imagined that it would be because of her best friend, Sarah, whom Andrea had known since childhood. Sarah had suddenly become a completely different person after they hadn’t seen each other for some time and then met again.

Andrea began her letter, saying, "My friend Sarah and I have had a warm and trusting relationship for over 20 years. We've known each other since early childhood, but we became closer friends in our teenage years. We've faced many different situations together, and Sarah has always been the most sensible and supportive person for me."

"Recently, I moved to another country because my husband got a work promotion and an extended contract that required us to leave our home country and live near his company's headquarters. It was relatively easy for me to move from the country I'd lived in my whole life. I felt like this was the beginning of a new life, and I was excited about it. The only thing I regretted about this major change was that I wouldn't be able to see my friend Sarah as often as I used to. But when I told her the news, she comforted me, saying she would visit as often as I liked, and I relaxed. Who could have predicted that one of Sarah's visits would mark the end of our lifelong friendship and cause so many negative emotions between us..."

There was a warning sign after Andrea moved to a new place, but she chose to ignore it.

Andrea continues her story: "After moving into our new house and my husband starting his new job, Sarah called to ask how things were going. I shared with admiration and amusement that everything was like a fairy tale for us. I told her that I loved our new house, my husband's new office, and even the neighbors were the sweetest people."

"At that moment, I noticed that Sarah was not pleased by the fact that my life had taken such an amazing turn. I could sense her jealousy, but I dismissed these thoughts, thinking it would vanish with time. If only I had known that ignoring Sarah's disappointment was such a huge and irreversible mistake!"

Sarah didn't visit Andrea until two years after she moved.

Andrea continued her story, recounting how she had invited Sarah to visit multiple times, only to be turned down with various excuses. Despite this, Andrea understood and didn't press the issue, as she was absorbed in her new life. Communication between them dwindled over time.

Then one day, Sarah called to say she was finally coming to visit. Andrea was thrilled and eagerly prepared for her arrival, even buying thoughtful gifts for Sarah's children and making arrangements to ensure their comfort.

However, things quickly took a turn for the worse. Sarah asked Andrea to help book a hotel room, which Andrea agreed to, using her Hilton honor points to secure a nice hotel nearby. The visit started disastrously when Sarah and her children were kicked out of the hotel on the first night for bringing a large, unfriendly pit bull.

Left with no other option, Andrea reluctantly allowed them to stay at her house. What followed was a series of appalling incidents. During a small BBQ at Andrea's sister-in-law's house, Sarah consumed an excessive amount of food, leaving everyone shocked and the table bare when others returned for more.

"The next day, when Sarah and her children left for a field trip, I returned home to find a chaotic mess: food wrappers and bottles lying everywhere. The worst shock came when, smelling the stench, I went into the bathroom. There, to my horror, I found feces smeared all over the tub, toilet, walls and floor. I was deeply disgusted and nauseated by the sight and spent several hours cleaning and sterilizing the bathroom with bleach."

She confronted Sarah about the incident, expressing her love but making it clear that Sarah was no longer welcome in her home after such disrespectful behavior.

That wasn't the end; there was an even greater shock in store.

Andrea recounted, "A few days later, I had to cancel all my bank cards and get them reissued because of a suspicious $80 charge at a restaurant during breakfast. It dawned on me that Sarah must have stolen my information. When I confronted her, she vehemently denied everything and accused me of being awful for accusing her."

"I reiterated that I care for her deeply, but I can't tolerate someone who would steal from me and disrespect my home. Since then, we haven't spoken. Sarah posted on social media that she hates me. I'm unsure how to proceed. Should I continue to be friends with her?"

Our answer: Give yourself some time to think.

Your friend's behavior seems at least strange. From your reaction, it's clear that Sarah hasn't acted like this before. What happened to her during the time you were apart? There may be reasons that have greatly influenced her personality. Perhaps someday you'll want to find out.

However, for now, give yourself time to recover from the shock and calm your emotions. After that, approach your situation with a clear head and reconsider whether you need such a person in your life. If you decide you do, try to have an open conversation with Sarah. By then, her emotions should also have calmed down.

Unfortunately, long-term friendships sometimes break down just like long-term marriages. Here is the story of another woman who refused to attend her friend's wedding because of strange demands.