My Grandson’s Stepdad Wants To Keep A Huge Secret From Him

One of the most difficult things a parent can experience is losing a child. For this woman, the loss of her son was heartbreaking, but through supporting her grandson, her late son’s legacy carried on. As time went by, she supported her grandson financially and in any way she could, until another major change came along, one that nobody saw coming and left everyone confused about what to do next.

People were all on her side.

• If you’re going to be denied a relationship with your Grandson and your Son’s memory removed from the child’s life, then they should be happy to be free of your money too! © Unknown Author / Reddit
• It would be different if the Stepdad raised Dave Jr and Dave Jr viewed him as a Father who wanted to adopt him, but it sounds like they haven’t even asked the child what he wants and that they’d rather he just never know about his dad. I think the couple just wants to keep getting money from you. © ShakeSlow / Reddit
• If you don’t get the full grandchild experience because someone wants full dad rights, then they should make full child-care payments. © nimbus_47 / Reddit

• I would have had a slightly different response. I would have told them, of course, we’ll keep putting aside money for Dave Jr, but now that it is a two-parent household, the money we pay is going into a college or trust for him so that his future is secure, and it will be in my or my husband’s name. © Unknown author / Reddit

• Lying about his dad is likely to be so much more problematic than just being honest from the get-go. This is the kind of thing kids are super traumatized by. You don’t owe them anything, and it’s totally unreasonable for them to expect you to continue your kindness after pulling this stunt. © ShmamBo** / Reddit
• If they were receiving survivors’/child’s benefits from social security or receiving child support from a parent, those benefits would terminate if the child was legally adopted by his stepfather. Not telling him about his dad until he’s old enough is a bad move for you, your late son, and the child. It can be traumatizing for a child when they find out the truth about their parentage after being misled or lied to. ©_cheesynoodles / Reddit
  

• You did more than most would have done, considering the extremely sad circumstances. I’m sorry for your loss. © Unknown author / Reddit

• Allen wants to take responsibility for the kid? He takes responsibility for the kid. Not checks from you should be expected in that case. © BlacksmithMotor2580 / Reddit

• She is not entitled to anything. You are literally doing this to honour your late son’s memory and to help provide for your grandchild. You seem reasonable, I think you’d be fine with the Stepdad adopting him, but not changing your role as a grandparent and raising the child without knowing the truth. Oh, and the money grab? “You’re out as Grandma, but we’ll take your cash.” I don’t think so! © HelpMeUpPls / Reddit

• If they want to erase his paternal side and act like Allen is his dad, then Allen needs to step up and take the financial responsibility. I wouldn’t go to any sit-down because it sounds like their families are berating yours endlessly and using guilt-tripping tactics to convince you to change your mind. Wish the couple good luck and be prepared for Dave Jr. to reach out in a few years once he realises what’s up. © Zoeyoe / Reddit

Parenting in all its different forms requires honesty and communication between the child and the parents, the grandchildren and the grandparents, and anyone involved in raising the child. Everyone’s feelings should be taken into consideration, unlike this woman who never spoke up about her feelings until it was too late.