10+ Embarrassing Questions You Should Never Ask If You Want to Be Seen as Polite

Making small talk is a valuable skill, both professionally and personally. However, even the most well-meaning people can sometimes ask questions that unintentionally make others uncomfortable or withdrawn. The tricky part is that it’s not always obvious what went wrong. We took a closer look at the kinds of questions people commonly ask during casual conversations with strangers. We’ve highlighted several that are best avoided—especially if your goal is to make a positive impression and keep the conversation flowing smoothly.

1. “How much do you make?”

• Why it’s impolite:
  It puts people in an uncomfortable position and can stir up comparison, jealousy, or awkwardness. Salaries are personal, and unless you’re in a transparent-pay culture or asking in the context of negotiation, it’s best avoided.
• Better alternative:
  “Do you have any tips for negotiating a better salary in this field?”

2. “Is that your mother?”

• Why it’s impolite:
  Guessing someone’s relationship can backfire fast. Mistaking an older sibling for a parent, or assuming people are related when they aren’t, can lead to awkward or even offensive moments. You might unintentionally stir up discomfort or bring attention to dynamics people would rather not discuss.
• Better alternative:
  Let their interactions guide you. If it feels necessary to know, try:
  “How do you two know each other?”

3. “How long have you been together?”

• Why it’s impolite:
  Not every pair at a party is a couple. You might be putting two friends, co-workers, or recent acquaintances in a weird spot. Plus, for actual couples, this question can touch a nerve if they’re navigating sensitive issues like commitment or marriage.
• Better alternative:
  “So how did you two meet?”

4. “When are you going to have a baby?”

• Why it’s impolite:
  This question assumes a lot—like everyone wants children, can have them, or is ready to talk about it. It can bring up painful emotions for couples facing infertility or those who are child-free by choice.
• Better alternative:
  Don’t ask. If they want to share that chapter of their life, they will.

5. “Will it stay forever?”

• Why it’s impolite:
  Tattoos, piercings, unique hair—these are personal choices, not public conversation starters. Asking if it’s permanent, painful, or “real” can feel invasive. And never, ever touch someone to “get a closer look.”
• Better alternative:
  “That’s a cool design—what inspired it?” (Only if they seem open to chatting about it.)

6. “Why do you need it?”

• Why it’s impolite:
  Whether it’s five dogs, cosplay, or gourmet baking, hobbies are personal. Questioning their value or cost can feel judgmental, even if you’re just curious. It might sound like you’re calling their interests weird or wasteful.
• Better alternative:
  “That’s awesome—you must really enjoy it!”

7. “How much did the ring cost?”

• Why it’s impolite:
  It’s tacky and shifts the focus from love and commitment to materialism. It can also make the person feel judged.
• Better alternative:
  “It’s beautiful—such a unique design!”

8. “How much does it cost?”

• Why it’s impolite:
  Asking about someone’s salary or purchases can come off as nosy or like you’re sizing them up. Even if you’re trying to compare prices, people might take it as a challenge to their lifestyle or spending choices.
• Better alternative:
  “I’ve been thinking about getting something similar—mind if I ask where you found it?”

9. “How much did this place cost?”

• Why it’s impolite:
  It can sound nosey or imply judgment about their financial status or choices. It may make people feel uncomfortable showing you around.
• Better alternative:
  “This is such a cozy space—how long have you lived here?”

10. “What did you do wrong?”

• Why it’s impolite:
  It blames the person and assumes they were at fault. It’s unkind and intrusive at a vulnerable time.
• Better alternative:
  “I’m really sorry to hear that. Let me know if you want to talk or hang out.”

11. “Are those your own nails?”

• Why it’s impolite:
  This question may seem harmless, but it can:

Minimize their effort or style: They’ve likely spent time and money on their manicure. Asking if they’re “real” can sound dismissive.

Imply judgment: As if real is better or more “authentic,” which puts unnecessary value on natural vs. artificial beauty.

Invade personal style choices: It’s not your business whether someone’s glam is enhanced or natural—it’s theirs.

• Better alternative:

“That color/design is stunning. I love how it looks on you!”

“You’ve got great nail taste. Do you do them yourself or go to a salon?”

How to answer embarrassing questions:

If someone asks you a question that makes you uncomfortable, here are a few helpful strategies:

• Shift the conversation to another topic.
• Offer a brief, non-detailed response.
• Politely decline to answer.

Often, simply not responding is enough to signal that the question is inappropriate or makes you uneasy. Changing the subject or giving a short reply can also subtly convey your discomfort.
If the person continues to press you, it’s perfectly okay to say something like, “I’d rather not talk about that—let’s move on.” This approach is far more effective (and emotionally healthy) than reacting with anger or irritation.

Coming up next: 14 clever comebacks that will boost your confidence and put you back in the driver’s seat.