I’m Not a Nanny for My Ex’s Other Family — Here’s What Happened

Our reader thought her ex-husband had hit rock bottom when he left her to raise two kids alone while he moved on with his pregnant mistress. But she was wrong. He’s back — and this time, he’s bringing chaos, lies, and drama that turned her world upside down.

Here’s an email Kelly sent to us and her story:

I’m a 34-year-old mom, and my ex-husband (36) left me years ago after getting another woman pregnant. I’ve been raising our two kids alone ever since. Last week, out of nowhere, he showed up at my door with his daughter — the one he had with her — and asked me to babysit.

His excuse was pure drama: “My wife is in the hospital, she’s dying, I have no one else to ask.” I said no. He lost it, yelling at me: “If you don’t help me, you’ll regret it till the end of your days!” and stormed off, calling me a “heartless, cruel witch.”

Two months later, I nearly forgot about it... until I got a call from his wife — the same woman he left me for. She asked if I’d seen him, and I told her about that day, when he came by desperate because she was supposedly on her “deathbed.”

She was stunned. “What hospital?!” she demanded. Turns out, she was never in the hospital at all. She was actually at her parents’ house, happily announcing her second pregnancy.

Meanwhile, my ex had simply gotten tired of being a dad again. He’d lined up a date with yet another woman and needed someone to watch their child. His “brilliant” idea? Dump the kid on me — his ex-wife.

Now I can’t stop wondering: Did I do the right thing by telling his wife what happened? She’s pregnant, and I know stress is the last thing she needs. But I can’t shake the guilt — did I stir up drama at the worst possible time? Maybe I should have just stayed quiet.

— Kate

Our answer:

Dear Kate! Your feelings are completely valid — what you experienced was shocking, manipulative, and unfair. Your ex-husband’s behavior crosses multiple boundaries, and the way he tried to use you to avoid responsibility is utterly inappropriate. You have every right to feel anger, disbelief, and even guilt, but it’s important to separate his actions from your responsibility.

You made a conscious choice to protect yourself and your children, and saying no to babysitting was the right call. He tried to pressure you with lies and threats, and you stood your ground. That takes strength, and it’s a clear sign that you are putting your family’s needs first.

Telling his wife the truth was also a reasonable and ethical decision. She was being misled about her husband’s behavior, and now she has the full picture. While it might cause her temporary stress, she now knows who she’s dealing with, and that knowledge is far better than being kept in the dark. You cannot be blamed for exposing someone else’s deception.

It’s normal to feel guilt or second-guess yourself, especially when you see the consequences of your actions. But remember: your ex-husband created the situation. You did not manipulate, lie, or exploit anyone — you simply responded honestly to a manipulative and selfish behavior. That’s on him, not you.

Moving forward, you might consider:

• Setting firm boundaries with him to prevent future manipulations.
• Focusing on your children and your own life, instead of trying to manage his chaotic choices.
• Acknowledging your own feelings without letting guilt take over — writing them down, talking to a friend, or even a counselor can help.

Here’s another shocking story: a woman discovered that her ex used their son’s college fund to support his stepdaughter.