“I’m Jane, a 28-year-old soon-to-be bride from Portland, Oregon, and I’ve been daydreaming about my honeymoon with my soon-to-be-husband, Mark. We’ve been dating for three wonderful years, and we were ready to start our journey as a married couple. But it turns out my MIL has other plans,” Jane shared with us.
As the wedding day drew near, I found myself immersed in wedding plans and Pinterest boards, dreaming of the romance surrounding the Eiffel Tower and the cobblestone streets of Paris. Mark and I were perusing a honeymoon brochure when he revealed something that momentarily dampened my excitement.
One ordinary evening, while we were on the couch, Mark hesitated before dropping a bombshell. “You know, my mom wants to come with us.” I nearly choked on the excitement that had filled the room just moments before. “Your mom? To our honeymoon? Seriously?” I asked, hoping he was kidding.
Mark explained that his mom, Carol, had been feeling lonely since his dad’s passing, and she saw our honeymoon as an opportunity for some family bonding. I attempted to comprehend his perspective, but the notion of sharing such an intimate trip with my mother-in-law left me feeling uneasy.
After a thorough discussion, Mark convinced me that having Carol accompany us wouldn’t be as negative as I feared, and might even turn out to be a positive experience. Reluctantly, I agreed, hoping that the presence of a third wheel wouldn’t overshadow our romantic moments.
Our honeymoon in Paris finally arrived, and right from the start, it became apparent that my concerns were justified. Carol, in her early 60s, displayed enthusiasm but had a tendency to hover, transforming our intimate dinners into family gatherings and our private moments into shared experiences.
While we strolled along the Seine and explored iconic landmarks, I couldn’t help but yearn for the romantic solitude I had envisioned. The continual presence of my mother-in-law introduced a tension that lingered. Though I valued her company, there was a persistent feeling that our honeymoon had been somewhat hijacked.
Now, back in Portland, I find myself grappling with mixed emotions. I acknowledge Mark’s desire to support his mom, but I cannot overlook the fact that our honeymoon didn’t align with my expectations. While reflecting on our experiences, a lingering question haunts me: How can I effectively communicate my feelings to Mark and navigate the delicate balance between family obligations and the intimacy expected in our newlywed phase?
Hi Jane! Thank you for reaching out to us here at Now I’ve Seen Everything! We appreciate you sharing your unique situation. Here’s some advice that might help you navigate through these circumstances:
Put yourself in Jane’s shoes — what steps would you consider taking? Additionally, as you contemplate that, take a look at another article featuring individuals sharing their family’s darkest secrets, prompting reflections on our own experiences.
Oh I totally disagree with the suggestions. This is the beginning of the MIL overly intertwining into her marital bliss. There will always be something needed from her or him.. He made a mistake.... Either he wanted too all along which will be a constant problem or he's a blind "SUCKA" mommas boy. Either way this isn't over by a long shot.
Suggest to your husband that he might take his mother out for dinner (date) night. She will be focused on him for that time and you can have a night to pamper yourself. Having the peace and quiet to yourself will give you some comfort.
