15 People Whose Doctor Visits Took Hilariously Awkward Turns

A trip to the doctor is usually nothing more than a routine task — but for some people, it turned into a moment they’ll never forget. These stories show what happens when an ordinary appointment takes a wildly unexpected turn, becoming unsettling, shocking, or, in some cases, downright hilarious.

• Not me, but my roommate once went to the doctor because his hands were literally turning blue. He was born premature and has always had horrible circulation. So he went to the doctor, and the doctor was so puzzled as to what’s happening that she consulted other specialists.
  Then she returned back to the room with alcohol swabs, and the blue started coming off. It turned out he had not washed his new jeans, and the ink kept rubbing off on his hands every time he put them in his pocket. © raybanomics / Reddit

• During a routine gynecology exam, the doctor suddenly froze. “Wait here. I’ll be right back,” he said, and left the room. A moment later, he returned with a stranger. I sat up, confused. “That’s not my husband,” I said. “I know,” the doctor replied. “This is Peter, a medical trainee observing today. I’m sorry, I should’ve asked first.” Then he added, “Your husband is on his way.” Guess who got a bad review before I left the clinic? He’s lucky I didn’t report him.

• I smashed my left pinky toe into a door frame, hurt like a mother. Went and got it X-rayed and, yep, fractured. A month later I’m at a routine podiatrist visit, and my toe is swollen, purple, and the toenail is black. I’m explaining to the doctor that I fractured it. He looks closely at my mangled little piggy and says seriously, “Yeah, you’re going to lose that toe.”
  What??!!! In about 3 seconds, I went through the shock of losing a toe, acceptance of losing a toe, and determination to continue living without a toe when the doctor says... “Sorry, I mean toeNAIL. You’re going to lose that toenail.” Gah! © Dads***8 / Reddit

• I went to the ER in seriously bad abdominal pain. I couldn’t explain it since everything was seemingly *ahem* running fine. Scant, but fine. As it turned out, I was still massively backed up, almost to the point of impaction.
  The doctor, who was a good, goofy guy, said, “Ma’am, sorry to tell you, but your diagnosis is that you’re full of poop.”
  I cracked up and said, “How long have you been waiting to use that one on a patient who won’t complain?”
  Him: “FOREVER.” © ChaoticF******Good / Reddit

• First physical of my life. I drop my pants, and the doctor says, “Turn your head and cough.” I hear, “Turn your head and crawl.” I cannot explain the levels of confusion and awkwardness that followed. © doublej308 / Reddit

• This is my misunderstanding of what the doctor was trying to have me do. He said, “Hold your breasts,” so I did. He said, “No, hold your breasts.”
  I was young and not sure what type of exam this was, so I was moving them in different ways to try to, I guess, position them the way he wanted, and he then said, “HOLD YOUR BREATH.” I passed away that day. © Informal-East5515 / Reddit

• Me, with red curly hair, at the ob-gyn:
  “Your hair is so pretty! Is it natural?”
  “The color or the curl?”
  “I’ll find out about the color in a minute.”
  We both died laughing. She didn’t mean to say it, but OMG, it was hilarious. © M********** / Reddit

• I was with my dog at the vet’s office, and the vet nurse called my dog’s name, “Bean.” I stood up as two other people did. We looked at each other confused. The vet nurse just said, “The dog Bean.”
  The woman with the guinea pig sat down. I was still standing there with this older lady and her poodle. The vet nurse then said, “The big Bean.” The woman sat down, and I dunno why I still smile when I think about that. © Unknown author / Reddit

• My wife and I had our child late in life and knew we were going to be one and done, so a vasectomy was gonna happen. Where I live, you need a doctor’s referral to get one.
  Coincidentally, my appointment to get said referral was the same week that I started my paternal leave. At my appointment, the doc walks into the room and says, “You’ve been on pat leave for 2 days, and you already want a vasectomy!?!” © phil_in_t_blank / Reddit

• We had one woman come back again, and her chief complaint was constipation. Going into her chart, I saw that she had been previously given some suppositories to take, and in the triage note, she said her meds weren’t working and she wanted some different ones.
  So the doc is asking her questions, making sure nothing else is wrong, and they get to the part about the meds. She says, “Well, yeah, the pills I got last time were huge! I have to break them in half to swallow them!” © mamblepamble / Reddit

• I arrived at my doctor’s office for a routine physical, and everything was going fine. My previous conditions had all gone away, and we were wrapping up when my doctor (female, by the way; I am male) told me that she was “going to need to check me for an enema.”
  She turned away for a moment to put on some gloves; as she did so, I stood up, took off my pants, and bent over. I misheard her. One does not “check” for an enema. One check for a hernia.
  The moment she turned around, I heard, “Oh, what!” and I immediately realized my mistake. © JustHavinAGoodTime / Reddit

• This happened to a friend’s mother. She was trying out a new OB-GYN. Post-examination, she was given a cup and directed to supply the office with a sample. Upon arriving in the bathroom, she saw that it had no door!
  Friend’s mom just assumed that this new, freewheeling OB-GYN office didn’t have bathroom doors and all the patients did their business in the light. So, nervously, she proceeded to create/collect the sample as people walked by in the hallway outside. I imagine they pretended not to notice or gave her strange looks, but it wasn’t until she was leaving the bathroom that she noticed the fully retracted sliding door. © imascientist / Reddit

• I went to the gynecologist. It was a new doctor. As he examined me, he whispered, “Your husband is a lucky guy!” I felt like punching him.
  But when I got home and undressed, I realized he hadn’t actually examined me properly. The checkup had been rushed — he barely even looked. I was so caught off guard by his inappropriate comment that I hadn’t noticed at the time.
  The next day, I got a call from the receptionist asking me to come for an emergency 2nd visit. I was shocked to discover that this guy wasn’t a doctor at all. He had faked his paperwork and diplomas, and in reality, he had dropped out of medical school after only eight months.
  It finally made sense — why the exam had been so rushed and why he had tried to distract me with that disgusting comment. Thankfully, he was caught early and didn’t get the chance to put any woman’s life at risk.

• I went for my annual eye test and to get a prescription for the next year’s supply of contact lenses. I usually meet the same optician, and he gave me a warm welcome to the big machine that tests your eyes. He started the test and was very surprised to read the results.
  In great excitement, he came up to me and said, “Ma’am, we have only come across this in theory, and I never knew this was really possible. Your power has corrected completely! You don’t need contact lenses or glasses anymore!”
  I actually believed him for a moment before sheepishly replying, “Are you sure you negated the effect of the contact lenses I am wearing?” Turns out, I was supposed to take them off for at least 30 minutes before testing my eyes, oops. © moto-chuchu / Reddit

• I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning and complained about an unusual pressure in my molar that wouldn’t go away. Five minutes in, the dentist called three assistants over. They all turned red when he said, “Somebody has been playing barista in here.”
  He pulled out a chunk of coffee bean. Chewing espresso beans to “wake up faster” wasn’t my brightest idea.

And in another of our articles, we shared a story about a wife who cleverly sought retribution against her unfaithful husband.