I Argued with My MIL Over the Menu at the Children’s Party, Revealing the Truth About My Husband

A young woman sought advice from others because her children’s birthday had turned into a real family drama. Her mother-in-law was picky about food, which led to a scandal, but later, a troubling truth about her husband’s actions came to light.

She explained what happened.

Last weekend, I had a birthday party for my 4 and 5-year-old kids. They have a birthday 2 weeks apart from each other, and it’s easier to just have one party because it’s just grandparents, uncles, aunts, and a ton of cousins.

I ordered some pizzas and made nachos, the cheese was that big gigantic can of cheese from the grocery store. That is honestly not even cheese at all. I also ordered cupcakes with buttercream frosting in colors that the kids wanted from the grocery store. We had sodas Hawaiian punch and water available to drink. This is what the kids wanted.

My MIL says she has food allergies, but it seems as if it’s only when it’s convenient for her. As in, I have seen her eat the same junk I was serving at the state fair or eating Costco pizza.

I told my husband to let his mom know what we were serving so that she could either eat before or bring something to eat, or I could grab her a salad or something at the pizza place. He did call her and tell her, and she said what we had was fine.

The party is happening, I announce that we have pizza or nachos to eat. MIL asks what ingredients are in the nacho cheese. I tell her I don’t know, it’s the big can of cheese. She then asks me to dig the can out of the full trash, so I can tell her what is actually in it. I refuse. I told her if she wanted to dig through the trash, she could. She just pouted and didn’t eat anything.

Then we didn’t have the soda she liked. So I offered her a bottle of water, which again was not the kind she liked. The chips were not the pita chips she likes, so they were a no-go too.

It came time for cake, and after singing, she wanted to know where the cupcakes came from. Then proceeded to claim that we should have gotten the ones from Whole Foods, as they didn’t have as many preservatives in them.

I was annoyed at this point and told her that if she wanted to have a party for the kids and serve certain foods and drinks, she was welcome too and pay for it herself. Until then, I would be getting what the kids asked for. She got up and left and said, that I should offer food all guests could eat!

She is now demanding an apology. My husband is saying I was rude to his mom and I should apologize. I refused because this party was for the kids and I bought kids food that they wanted and that I could afford. She was also warned ahead of time on what I was serving.

Update.

I showed my husband this post, and he admitted he never told his mom about the menu, because he didn’t want to deal with her complaining about it all week. He thought if she just showed up, she wouldn’t say anything about it since there were a ton of other people there. He didn’t realize that it was more than the cupcakes that she was complaining about because that’s all he actually heard and just wanted me to apologize to keep the peace. I told him that I would not apologize and that he needed to tell his mom she seriously crossed the line and was rude.

He says that it will just blow over. I said she is not allowed to come over until she can sincerely apologize for the way she acted. Now he’s annoyed with both of us because “He shouldn’t have to choose between his wife and his mom”

People stood on her side.

• Your husband lied to you and thus directly caused this. Sure, it sounds like your MIL would have been just as obnoxious even with the heads-up, but part of your frustration was that she already knew about the menu. She didn’t. Because your husband lied to you. He needs to apologize to you, then to his mother and tell her exactly what happened: he lied to you about telling her about the menu, which led to you being irritated at her criticisms. Her not being prepared for the food is no one’s fault but his. © napincoming321zzz / Reddit
• Do NOT give in. She was rude and demanding the entire party. Husband wants you to cave so she stops hounding him. Nope, find your spine and defend your wife, bro. © KronkLaSworda / Reddit
• This sounds like a power play by MIL, and your husband is being a Mama’s boy for taking her side over yours. © yuumai / Reddit
• Your MIL seems to not like you at all, I get having preferences but outright not eating because it’s not her favorite is kinda dumb and selfish, it’s not her birthday. Cause they have birthdays a week or two apart, please tell me you still say happy birthday on your kids actual birthdays and not just the day when you have a party. © Complete_Catch_13 / Reddit

• Sounds like you tried to be accommodating, but she said everything was fine until it wasn’t. If all her comments were along the lines of the cupcakes, it sounds like it’s less an allergy thing and more “well it’s not what I would have gotten” Me being the petty person I am would reach out and get a lot of her “allergies” to have on hand... either to call her out when in public, "Oh MIL, you really shouldn’t eat that... you know, it has “insert allergen” or if she starts acting up at another party say that all the food was checked off and clear of the allergy list he provided. © TwistedPanda23 / Reddit
• OMG, I can’t believe I have to say this... IT’S A KIDS B-DAY PARTY?!?!!? The food is always junk food, as it should be. As an adult, you either eat or you don’t. I’m diabetic and usually just go hungry at these types of parties because unless I want to snack off the nasty veggy dip tray, there’s pretty much nothing I can eat. But that’s on me. © Kidd_Gloves_ / Reddit

Here’s another story about a woman who uncovered a dirty truth about her husband and now doesn’t know what to do.