I Banned My MIL from Seeing My Baby — She Decided to “Teach Me a Lesson”

Postpartum sadness affects more people than we often acknowledge, with research revealing that about 80% of new parents go through it. Gretchen, a new mom, is struggling to adjust to her role and has asked for some quiet time away from others. Things took a turn for the worse when her in-laws arrived uninvited to meet the baby. Feeling overwhelmed, she reached out to us for support.

This is Gretchen’s letter:

Hi Gretchen! Thank you for trusting us with your experience. We’ve gathered some suggestions that may help you navigate this delicate situation.

It’s essential to prioritize self-care during this time.

As you navigate the responsibilities of motherhood, it’s important to make self-care a priority. It’s easy to overlook your own needs while caring for a newborn, but taking time for yourself is vital for your mental and emotional well-being. Look for moments in your day to engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation—whether it’s indulging in a warm bath, reading a book, or enjoying a quiet cup of tea.

Be clear in communicating your boundaries.

It’s essential to convey your limits to your spouse and in-laws. Inform them that, although you value their enthusiasm for the baby, you require some time to acclimate and would like visits to be scheduled ahead of time.
Share how surprise visits can interfere with your daily life and increase your stress, affecting both your and the baby’s health. Clear communication can help avoid misinterpretations and guarantee that everyone acknowledges your need for space during this sensitive period.

It may be helpful to consider couples therapy.

The situation with your husband and his family visiting unannounced highlights a breakdown in communication and a disregard for your boundaries. It may be worth considering couples counseling to address any underlying issues and improve communication in your relationship. A trained therapist can help both of you navigate this challenging phase of parenthood, fostering better understanding and support for each other.

Build a strong support network.

Caring for a newborn is incredibly demanding, both physically and emotionally. Don’t hesitate to lean on your support network for help. Whether it’s your partner, family, or close friends, don’t be afraid to delegate tasks and ask for assistance with household duties or baby care whenever possible. A strong support system can alleviate some of the stress and give you the opportunity to rest and recharge.

Carla, another young woman, reached out to us for advice after her MIL violated her privacy. In response, Carla set up a hidden camera, which ultimately revealed a troubling secret about her MIL.