I Refused to Take On My Coworker’s Responsibilities — and It Backfired Quickly

When the office turns into a battlefield of rumors and accusations, even the most confident employee can feel destabilized. That’s why knowing how to handle conflict, set firm boundaries, and approach HR issues is so important.

Here’s Carla’s letter:

Hi Now I’ve Seen Everything!

I’m still absolutely furious about this, and honestly, I’m not even sure how to process it. I have this coworker who constantly tries to offload her responsibilities onto me and disguises it as “teamwork.” And it’s not small tasks — it’s things that are very clearly her job. Most of the time I try to deflect politely or redirect her, but last week she pushed things way too far.

She literally slammed a huge folder onto my desk without asking and said, “Do it by 2 p.m.” Like I’m her assistant. I not-so-gently slid it right back to her and said, “It’s your work, not mine.” She just stared at me with this unsettling, smug little smile and walked away like nothing happened.

Fast-forward to the next day, HR calls me into their office. And that’s when I felt trouble brewing. Apparently, my coworker filed a complaint saying I’ve been hostile and aggressive toward her for weeks.

According to HR, she’s claiming that yesterday I yelled at her in front of others. They told me this is serious and asked for my side of the story immediately. Here’s the thing: I didn’t yell at her, and I certainly haven’t been harassing her. I just told her to do her own work.

I know I was frustrated, but I honestly never raised my voice. Now I’m panicking because I have no idea how to defend myself against something that simply didn’t happen. My intention wasn’t to be “aggressive” or “hostile” — I was setting a boundary after she kept trying to dump her workload on me.

Has anyone dealt with something like this before? How do you explain your side without making the situation worse? Is it even possible to show HR that this was just normal frustration and not harassment, or am I wasting my time trying to prove something that should be obvious?

Thank you,
Carla.

Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your story with us. We hope these insights offer some clarity and support as you navigate your next steps.

• Don’t let fear make you defensive. It’s natural to panic when someone accuses you of harassment, but HR isn’t the enemy. They want the truth, not a freak-out. Take notes, breathe, and speak clearly. Overreacting or crying in the meeting can unintentionally make you look guilty; harsh, but true.
• Stay factual, not emotional. When HR asks for your version, stick to the timeline, the actions, and the documented behavior. Avoid phrases like “she always” or “she’s trying to sabotage me.” HR responds better to dates, quotes, and specific incidents. Facts look strong; feelings look shaky.
• Take care of yourself off the clock. This stuff is stressful. Don’t ignore your anxiety or frustration. Even just a short walk after work, venting to a friend, or journaling what actually happened can stop the panic from taking over. You need a little buffer from the office madness, otherwise it seeps into everything.

Be sure to check out our other article, where another reader opens up about how her husband chose his “work wife’s” party over her birthday — and how the revenge she planned left him absolutely stunned.