I Worked Tirelessly to Pay Our Mortgage, But My Husband Gave Our House to His Mother

Relationships
month ago

Dear Jessica, We can only imagine how betrayed and devastated you must feel after discovering that your husband secretly transferred the deed of your marital home to his mother without your knowledge or consent. After two decades of faithfully making the mortgage payments yourself, totaling over $600,000, it is completely understandable that you feel this act has robbed you of your life’s investment and hard-earned equity in the property.

Your anger over your husband is completely understandable.

By unilaterally giving away the house you co-owned, John has effectively deprived you of an asset you rightfully contributed to and expected to possess. His assertion that you will eventually regain ownership after his mother’s passing does not undo the immediate financial hardship and injustice he has imposed on you.

John’s dismissive attitude towards your concerns is deeply troubling.

Accusing you of being greedy and ordering you to “back off” only compounds the emotional distress caused by his betrayal of your trust. Your marriage is meant to be an equal partnership, and his actions have undermined that foundation.

While we understand his desire to help his aging mother, it should not have come at the expense of disregarding your rights and financial well-being. His decision, no matter how well-intentioned, has created an untenable situation that needs to be resolved fairly and with empathy for your perspective.

You have every right to demand buyout compensation for your share of the equity in the home.

A figure of $300,000, representing half of the current value based on your contributions over 20 years, seems reasonable and just. This is not about greed; it is about rectifying the wrong that has been done to you and ensuring you are not left without the asset you have worked so hard to build.

We encourage you to stand firm in your demand for fair compensation, but also to approach this with an open mind and a willingness to communicate respectfully with John. Perhaps involving a neutral third party, such as a mediator or counselor, could help facilitate a resolution that addresses both your financial interests and John’s familial obligations.

Remember, you have invested your life’s efforts into this home, and you deserve to be treated with fairness and respect. Do not let your husband’s accusations diminish the validity of your concerns or your right to be made whole. With empathy, honesty, and a commitment to finding a just solution, it is possible to navigate this difficult situation and restore the trust and equity that should exist in your marriage.

It can be tough, but with patience and understanding, you can build a friendly relationship with your mother-in-law. Want to learn how? Don’t miss our article featuring six strategies to nurture a positive bond with your husband’s mother.

Preview photo credit hermelin / Pixabay

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