My BIL’s Girlfriend Is Crossing Boundaries with My Husband — It’s Driving Me Crazy

Women often have a keen intuition and can quickly sense when something feels off, especially if someone shows excessive interest in their partner. One woman shared her experience on Reddit, questioning whether her pregnancy hormones are making her overreact, or if there’s genuinely something amiss.

She shared what happened.

“I’m pregnant, 24 weeks. My husband and I were visiting his folks in their city the past week. It was fraught with problems, they are challenging people.

My BIL (28m) has been dating this woman, S (30f) for three years. At my wedding 1.5 years ago, she spent all her time with me telling me how lucky I am to have him. I said he was certainly wonderful, but then I laughed and joked that he was the lucky one.”

“Anyway, BIL and my husband don’t talk much, so we haven’t had any conversations with her ever since. When we visited last week, she and us ended up living at MIL’s place. It’s a small space, so things were tight.

I was on alert for any weird behavior. Well, apart from her babying him around, nothing inappropriate happened. We returned the day before yesterday.

She video-called me today. I was outside and couldn’t attend it. Anyway, I find abrupt video calls feel really invasive. When I called her back, on a regular audio call, she cut it.”

“She video-called me again and with the biggest smile on her face, yelled ’GUESS what I’m wearing!’ I stared stupidly at the screen and realized she was wearing my husband’s T-shirt. This T-shirt means a lot to us. We met over a dating app, it’s a striking shirt, and he was wearing it in his profile picture.

I remember sharing this story with the in-laws once, but can’t recollect if she was there and heard it. Anyways, I’m so annoyed. Her boyfriend has a million clothes at his mom’s place, so why couldn’t she just wear one of those? I find it so weird that she insisted on video-calling me whilst wearing my husband’s clothes.”

People were candid in sharing their opinions on the situation.

• That’s weird. Your husband needs to have a quiet word with his brother about how the shirt-wearing and video call made him uncomfortable and ask him to have a quiet word with his girlfriend about boundaries. © Ornery_Ad_2019 / Reddit
• Yes, you’re wrong. You’re giving her too much credit. She’s either trying to annoy you or thinks you’re closer than you realize. Either way, wasting any time being angry with her is futile.
  Just nonchalantly say thanks for finding the shirt, please mail it back and I’ll send you the money. In other words, you being upset with her gives her the power she’s looking for. Don’t react anymore. The game will no longer be fun for her. © ButterscotchFluffy59 / Reddit
• She is definitely challenging you — she sounds like a real piece of work. She would go for your husband at any time, and she has signaled it with this action. Do whatever you can to totally limit contact and never have her stay at your place — ever! © Artistic-Giraffe-866 / Reddit
• She might not have realized the emotional significance of the t-shirt to you and your husband. If she wasn’t aware of the backstory, she might have just thought it was a nice piece of clothing. It could be helpful to communicate your feelings to her directly to clear up any misunderstandings. © _annnsophie / Reddit

• That’s definitely weird behavior from her. It’s understandable why you’re annoyed. She seems to be trying to mark her territory, and it’s disrespectful to you and your relationship with your husband. © Seductive_Virgina / Reddit
• I would have said I can see WHAT you’re wearing the only question is WHY. © dart1126 / Reddit
• Why is your BIL not stepping in? If someone I dated would so clearly drool over my friend or family member, I would just end the relationship. He is better being alone than with someone who disrespects him and his brother and his SIL. © United_Fig_6519 / Reddit
• Honestly, reading the title, I thought, “Big deal.” She needed a t-shirt, and there was one spare. Maybe she thought it was her husband’s, or maybe she didn’t think about it. But saying, “Guess what I’m wearing,” is creepy. © Happy-V**er / Reddit

Our reader, Taylor, also faced a disheartening moment on her wedding day when her SIL gave her a gift that left her feeling both embarrassed and hurt. Find out more in our article.