My Stepdad Leans Towards a Romantic Relationship with Me, and I Feel Cornered

month ago

A 30-year-old woman turned to Reddit to share her unique family dilemma. She finds herself feeling trapped due to the unexpected evolution of her relationship with her adoptive father. What she once believed to be a solely positive connection between herself and her mother’s husband has now become something she never anticipated nor desired.

It all began when the woman needed family help.

The woman initiates her narrative within a Reddit community, recounting, «My (30f) stepdad (58m) confessed to me that he is in love with me. This happened 3 years ago. For context, my mom and stepdad got married about 10 years ago. My mom and I are not close, she walked out when I was 4 and had me on weekends, but I spent 80% of my time with her parents and my aunt as she was too busy with whoever she was dating at the time.»

Since childhood, the woman’s relationship with her biological father had been strained. She explained, «I was raised by my dad’s parents because my dad was too busy working all the time. I come from a very strict German family that are basically like Vulcans and show very little emotion.»

Facing challenging circumstances, the woman sought assistance. She disclosed, «3 years ago I suffered from a misfortunate relationship and I ended up moving in with my mom temporarily so she could help with my son while I was in treatment. This is when everything with my stepdad started.»

Initially, there appeared to be a strong bond between the woman and her stepfather.

Continuing her narrative, the woman expressed that her stepfather was the first individual to extend genuine help and support to her during a challenging time.

She says, «After I got out of the hospital, me and him got close. Every day for 3 months, he would drive me to and from out patient therapy, and we would just talk or listen to music. Harmless. When I had meltdowns, he would talk me through it and be a shoulder to cry on. Harmless. We would go on hikes together with my son because my mom has health problems and would opt out. Again harmless. Or so I thought.»

Treating her mom’s husband as her own father, the woman felt a deep sense of connection. However, a concerning aspect emerged in their relationship.

Sharing her sentiments, she disclosed, «In my head, it felt like I finally had a dad that showed me love and attention. I even gave him a card for Christmas asking if I could call him dad, and he cried and said yes. I was overjoyed, I finally had a bond with a parent that I’ve never had before. Boy was I wrong.»

The situation escalated, leaving the woman feeling uncomfortable now.

Continuing her story, the woman reached a moment of realization when she became acutely aware of the troubling dynamics between herself and her stepfather.

She explained, «Now let’s bring in my now boyfriend Z(24m). He worked with my stepdad, and he brought him over one day, and me and Z hit it off instantly. We hung out and talked for hours. My stepdad started getting protective, and I just read it as being a dad.»

Her stepfather’s true intentions came to light, shocking the OP.

She says, «Well one night we went out carp shooting like we normally did and that’s when my stepdad confessed his love for me. He wanted to know if I felt the same way and said he wished he was 20 years younger. He also admitted that his tears over my Christmas card were tears of sadness that I saw him only as a dad. I awkwardly told him I just saw him as my dad, and that night I cried myself to sleep in Z’s arms. Have I told my mom? No. She has a long history of choosing partners over me. So much that her ex gfs son SA’d me, and she took his side over mine.»

Redditors promptly offered valuable advice to the woman in the comments section.

The Reddit community rallied behind the distressed woman, flooding the comments section with supportive perspectives on her predicament.

  • This is wrong and gross. He’s your parental figure, he was doing what he should be doing. Tell your mother what he said, and then stop contacting or interacting with him in any way. © ChangePurple2401 / Reddit
  • Oh honey, I am so sorry. He is old enough to know that this is really awful behavior, and that he is so wrong and gross for this. It doesn’t matter that he came into your life as an adult; he is married to your mom. What was he thinking, telling you this? © Natural_Commission15 / Reddit
  • He literally took your trust and warped it into something disgusting. What you were so happy for — a father — he was upset about because he twisted it into something for his own fantasy. This is a response that happens when people don’t understand healthy boundaries. He apparently was having some kind of feeling about his own marriage and then took what are normal connections to parental figures, or even friends, as something more. © CheetahPrintPuppy / Reddit
  • I’m so sorry. I went through the same thing. I was 19. Stepdad was in his 40s. My mother just gave birth to his child... I know, it’s so disappointing to think you had a father figure, and they just turn out to be like that. © ShutYoFaceGrandma / Reddit

And here’s yet another story from a woman who performed a DNA test on her baby, only to stumble upon her mother-in-law’s hidden secret.


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