20 Doctors Share Hilarious Comments Said by Patients Under Anesthesia

While unconscious, we can say and do anything. Really, anything. For this reason, it is not at all strange that, when under the effects of anesthesia, we say anything outrageous. Doctors, nurses, and even people who have had to use this drug know what we are talking about, since they have in their repertoire several crazy, incoherent, and even a little embarrassing anecdotes.

At Now I’ve Seen Everything we compiled the most hilarious comments from patients under anesthesia that managed to awaken the good humor of those who heard them.

• When I got my wisdom teeth out, the nurse was trying to wake me up and said, “Okay, it’s time to open your eyes. Can you open your eyes for me?” I said, “Say pleee-eease!” She said please very nicely, and I opened my mouth as wide as I could. © iletthe12dogsout / Reddit
• My dad (Italian) was waking up from anesthesia and kept looking at his Asian nurse and saying he was so glad his daughter was with him. And that he loved his daughter. The nurses were confused, so they went out into the waiting room to check for his daughter. I was the only one in the waiting area, and when they saw me they started to laugh hysterically. I am Korean by birth, but was adopted by my lovely Italian family. © PoppingKittens / Reddit

• A man asked me if his body parts still belong to him, and I still think about it. © serenasaystoday / Reddit
• I was told by my dentist that when he was prepping me to remove my wisdom teeth, I asked him why he became a dentist. I vaguely remember him telling me a story about how when he was a preteen he was at a local pool, running around when he slipped and smashed his chin on concrete and shattered some of his teeth (ouch). He was amazed at how well they reconstructed his teeth that he decided to go into dentistry. Apparently, I then looked this man in the eyes and said, “Well that’s a stupid freakin’ reason to become a dentist.” © molegirl420 / Reddit

• I had double jaw surgery to correct my underbite. I took sign language in college. They typically don’t wire your jaw shut anymore, they just use strong rubber bands, but you can still talk. I knew I’d be able to talk. Yet when I woke up from the surgery, apparently I kept trying to sign. The nurses were like: “Uhh, we don’t know sign language, honey.” Based on how little I remember from college, I’m certain it wasn’t even good sign language. © shi**y_owl_lamp / Reddit
• “Stand back everybody. There’s nothing you can do to stop me.” © Agg***siveSpatula / Reddit

• After I had my tonsils out, something crossed my brain and I started responding to the nurses in Welsh. I am English, but we were nowhere near the Welsh border. It was total confusion until my consciousness returned 15 minutes later and I started speaking my native tongue again. I also speak Welsh in my sleep from time to time. © PepperPhoenix / Reddit
• My twin sister started speaking fluent Spanish to my mom after she woke up from getting her wisdom teeth removed. We’re half Puerto Rican (on our mom’s side), so we’ve grown up hearing Spanish, but neither of us had ever carried a fluent conversation with her in it. © creepiest-greek-myth / Reddit

• Right before Christmas a couple of years ago I had my gallbladder removed. In the recovery room as I was waking up I became obsessed with singing the “12 Days of Christmas” song. I kept asking the nurses what order the verses were in. As they were wheeling me out of the room I heard a nurse belt out “Five golden rings!” Which was followed by everyone’s laughter. © Songspiritutah / Reddit
• I sat straight up in the bed (they tell me) and shouted “I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS!” Then I turned to a nurse and pleaded, “Okay, ma’am?”. © theseattlegirl / Reddit
• My mom was coming out from under anesthesia after a procedure a few years ago and I was trying to help her. She puckered her lips so I picked up her water cup and asked if she wanted some. She turned her face toward me and said, “Do I LOOK like an AIRPLANE?!” © Audginator / Reddit

• I had a male patient who as he woke up mumbled “I’m not pregnant?!”. © godricspaw / Reddit
• I came out of it in the middle of a conversation with Gandalf. I was trying to sell him Tupperware. © questionable_post / Reddit

What is the most incoherent thing you have said while under anesthesia, do you remember? Do you have any hospital anecdotes you would like to tell us?