I Was Expecting Something Special for My 50th Birthday — My Husband’s Gift Left Me Feeling Deeply Humiliated

Milestone birthdays are typically accompanied by the hope for special celebrations, particularly from those closest to us. However, the reality doesn’t always align with those expectations, sometimes resulting in disappointment. A Reddit user recently shared their experience with an unexpected birthday gift from their spouse, igniting a conversation about the importance of thoughtfulness in relationships.

She wrote:

“On my husband’s 50th birthday, I surprised him with a trip to Hawaii. Yesterday, I turned 50 myself. Early in the morning, my husband woke me up and softly whispered in my ear, ’I have a surprise for you...downstairs!’ Excited, I ran down — only to freeze in shock when I saw something unimaginable.

Sitting in the middle of the room was... a vacuum cleaner — not even wrapped, mind you! He said he thought I’d like a new one since the current one doesn’t have the ability to turn off the brush roller when using on hard floors. I never asked for a new one. It works fine.

That was my birthday. Not even a lunch or dinner out. He mentioned a month ago about doing something special and going on a trip. I asked about that, and he said he figured I’d tell him when and where I wanted to go, although he never asked where!

But he did mention several times over the past month that he had a surprise for me. Apparently, the ’surprise’ was nothing but this... vacuum cleaner!

We’ve been married for 17 years! Am I wrong for hoping or expecting that maybe he could have surprised me with something? Anything? Something more than an Amazon next-day delivery vacuum cleaner?!

Maybe I’m just being hypersensitive. Turning 50 has been a hard number for me. My parents and grandparents all passed in that decade...”

Reddit users quickly filled the comments section with their thoughts and humorous replies.

• You have every right to expect more for your 50th birthday. Your feelings are valid, and it sounds like you were hoping for something that would make you feel special and appreciated. A vacuum, while practical, doesn’t convey that. Your husband’s lack of effort in planning something meaningful does seem inconsiderate, especially after the effort you put into his birthday. © PineappleIll6110 / Reddit
• Leave him in the living room with the vacuum when you go to Hawaii. Maybe take the vacuum with you to Hawaii and just leave your husband behind. © OnlyOnTuesdays289 / Reddit
• You definitely need to sit him down and have an honest conversation about this. Point out the Hawaii trip you planned for his birthday, and explain that turning 50 has been challenging for you — you truly thought he was planning something special on his own. Let him know you feel really let down by the total lack of empathy or consideration he put into your present.
  If he dismisses your feelings or gets defensive, you might consider returning the favor next time — perhaps with a household appliance for his birthday, like a washing machine. And since he sees the vacuum as such a special gift, maybe he should have the honor of using it to clean the house from now on.
  DO NOT let this slide — unspoken resentment only grows over time! © Altruistic_Bee_8201 / Reddit

• You need to have an honest conversation with your hubs. “Today was my 50th birthday. A milestone. A month ago, you mentioned a trip to celebrate. For your 50th, I surprised you with a trip to Hawaii. I saved and planned for months for it.
  You ordered me a vacuum that I don’t want, two days ago. No trip. You cannot be bothered planning anything. You were waiting for me to tell you where we were going? So, once again, I am expected to do all the planning and organizing in this relationship — this time for my own birthday.
  If I am going to do all the work, I might as well just go by myself. And be by myself. Why are you here? Do you even like me?”
  That is what I would say. © BonusMomSays / Reddit
• I told my kids, when they were young, and my partner never to buy me anything for my birthday or Mother’s Day that has anything to do with cooking or cleaning. © juzme99 / Reddit
• Same thing happened to me. One year, my husband bought me nice pots and pans for Christmas. My mom nearly flipped until I told her that’s what I had asked for.
  Another year, our vacuum died, and he bought me an Oreck. It came with a mini vac and all sorts of accessories. It was really too expensive for us at the time, so he wrapped all the accessories separately. That one didn’t exactly thrill me, but he did his best with our very tight budget that year! © Mama_B_tired / Reddit
• No excuse can justify this. You are not overly sensitive; he’s underly sensitive, thoughtless, and lazy. No one who has been taken to Hawaii for a milestone birthday (or any birthday) could possibly think that this is appropriate. © CandylandCanada / Reddit

One of our readers knew his wife had a bit of a messy side, but he never anticipated uncovering a hidden secret in her drawer. Read his emotional story here.