I’m Not Going to Cook Separate Meals for My Teen Stepdaughter — Now Her Mother Attacks Me

Navigating family dynamics can be challenging, especially when stepparents and children are part of the equation. A Reddit user recently opened up about her complex situation involving her stepdaughter’s diet, questioning the decisions she made. For more details, check out the full story in our article.

What was the situation?

My stepdaughter, who is 15 years old, has been living with us every week for the past year and has been difficult when it comes to food. She first became vegan, which I accommodated by preparing meals without animal products. However, she quickly changed to a holistic diet and developed allergies to various foods.

My stepdaughter doesn’t eat lactose and gluten. She insists I keep her food and cookware separately, even throwing out items from the pantry that she believed were causing stomach pain. I told her to eat outside or do her cooking and cleaning herself, which she got angry about. My husband started yelling at me because of it.

After suggesting she seek professional help for her eating issues, it was revealed that she had no allergies. Despite this, she insisted on her beliefs. I reached a breaking point and started adding gluten and lactose to her meals, which she unknowingly consumed without issue. When her mother visited and praised her daughter’s improved health due to her new diet, I calmly pointed out that she had been eating the same food as the rest of us.

When she realized that, this led to a confrontation, resulting in my stepdaughter and her mother leaving. My husband was upset with me because she refused to live with us anymore. I told him that if he wants his daughter to live with him, he can move out. They have since filed a lawsuit, but I stand by my actions. I refuse to cater to the demands of a teenager with mental health issues, and will not apologize or make accommodations for her if she chooses to return.

As a nurse working long hours, I cannot afford the time or energy to comply with the unrealistic expectations of someone with unfounded beliefs about food. Am I wrong?

What was people’s reaction online?

The vast majority of users sided with the author, expressing anger towards the husband for his unsupportive reaction and failure to meet his own child’s needs.

• She is 15. She can take care of feeding herself or your husband can do it. He sounds terrible too though, so getting rid of all of them seems like the best solution. © Creepy_Push8629 / Reddit
• He 100% should move out with her. You absolutely should not have to live like that in your own home. © Goldilocks1454 / Reddit
• You were treating her the same as the rest of the family, you prepared a meal and whoever wanted to eat could, you didn’t prepare individual meals for each person in the family apart from her. If her father is so adamant that her desires must be catered to then he’s also free to be the one to do the cooking for his daughter. © Lopsided_Put4682 / Reddit

Many also concurred that the girl’s parents should give more attention to unresolved mental health issues. Some even speculated that the parents themselves might be dealing with mental health issues as well.

• I’d be concerned that a young girl with this level of rejection of whole swathes of food groups without allergies or sensitivities is looking for an excuse to restrict their eating... © CharlotteLucasOP / Reddit
• This screams eating disorder and a conversion disorder as well, weirdly... All of this chaos is likely for attention. © Wise-Adhesiveness129 / Reddit
• This sounds like orthorexia & her parents are just gleefully encouraging it. She’s 15, she has 2 living parents. Feeding her shouldn’t be your job, since you obviously aren’t up to her exacting standards. Her mama can send her with food or her daddy can turn the stove on. © WastelandMama / Reddit

However, a few individuals mentioned something that the author should not have done.

• I understand why you did it, especially since the allergy test was negative. But no one should be fed things deceptively. You should have simply refused to cater to her demands. © Hey-Just-Saying / Reddit
• Maybe unpopular opinion, but I think it’s always wrong to lie to someone about what is in their food. That said, she can make her own meals. © Longjumping_Crab_345 / Reddit

And here’s yet another tension-filled story of a woman whose husband cheated on her and went as far as bringing his mistress’s baby into their home.