My 15-Year-Old Daughter Is Pregnant. But Even Worse, Now I Have To Tell Her Our Worst Family Secret Ever

3 months ago

A 53-year-old man wrote on Reddit about his situation seeking help and advice. His 15-year-old daughter announced her pregnancy and expressed a desire to keep the baby. However, the early pregnancy of his daughter is not the biggest shock for the parents. The issue is that for all 15 years, they have been hiding a terrible family secret from their daughter, and now they don’t know how to reveal it.

The man started his post with a shocking family fact from the past.

A 53-year-old dad turned to Reddit to ask people for a piece of advice in his tough family situation. He started his post, saying that he and his wife Rose, 53, had their older daughter Sarah, 31, when they were 22.

He explained how it all was for them, saying, «We were young and broke, but managed, and now we raised Sarah the best we could. She got pregnant at 15. It was a very depressing time for her, she had to go to therapy, and never told us anything about the father, which always upset her, so we never pushed the issue.»

The man goes on with his story, saying, that Sarah was very upset about her pregnancy. He says, «She originally wanted to terminate, but kept canceling, and eventually told us she wanted to give her up for adoption. But five months into the pregnancy, when she was discussing with a social worker for a couple to adopt, the couple dropped out of the adoption.»

The story took a very whimsical turn some time after.

The man continues his post, saying, «After trying to find more couples, Sarah asked us if we wanted to adopt. Rose and I were both 38 at this point, and we had both been discussing having another child, so we ended up adopting our daughter Ellie when Sarah had her at 16.»

Their family kept growing even more. The man wrote, «Two years after Ellie, my wife and I had our son Logan (13) biologically. Growing up, we always planned on telling Ellie she was adopted, but we knew with telling her that, we had to tell her Sarah was her bio mother.»

The relationship in the family was developing in a quite dramatic way.

But the relationship in the family was not an ordinary one. The man explained, «Sarah never became close with Ellie, not even as sisters. She moved out after the birth and lived with Rose’s sister. She has always shown her sisterly love to Logan, but never towards Ellie.
There has always been conflicting feelings with Sarah I have seen posts on Sarah’s Instagram where she posted a picture of what was supposed to be the five of us, but Ellie was cut out. I confronted her about this, and she says it’s too painful.
However, a couple of years ago she showed up not very sober, begging us to let us see her ’daughter’. We talked to her and let her stay, but did not let her near Ellie since she was not in the proper condition. We found out from her husband she had suffered several miscarriages and was told to consider a surrogate.»

The man continues, saying, «She ended up doing that four years ago and has since had twins Jack and Jill (3M and F) who are biologically hers. Ellie has loved being an aunt to the twins and Sarah has encouraged this with Ellie, and has been inviting Ellie over her house for family time with Logan, who loves being an uncle. We have asked Sarah that in light of the twins, and Ellie being close to them, wouldn’t it be time to tell Ellie the truth, but Sarah keeps claiming she is not ready.»

Now the parents need to tell the truth to their daughter, at any cost.

Now the family is facing a huge dilemma.

The man wrote, «Recently, Ellie came to us and has told us she is pregnant. This time it is a completely different situation, we have met the father, he is a childhood friend of hers. We had the talk with Ellie long ago, as we did with Sarah. We approached the situation calmly and have since met with the father and his parents.
Ellie is insistent on keeping the baby. She is 3 months along. We have not told Sarah yet, we do not know how to approach the situation, we don’t know how she will be able to take it. My wife and I are considering telling Ellie the truth, but we need Sarah to be there.»

People of Reddit expressed their opinions, and supported the desperate man.

  • Sarah is irrelevant here. You are acting like you’re just looking after Ellie until Sarah wanted her back. You are Ellie’s parents. You’ve raised her and you both need to sit down with Ellie’s and ask what her plans are with school, raising the baby, finances for the baby. You really need to step up here, cos you’ve dropped the ball twice now. © Quiet-Hamster6509 / Reddit
  • Sarah seems very troubled about her daughter and the biological father. Unfortunately, I think the only way for help for her would be therapy if she’s willing to see a professional to help her heal mentally. This is a very sad case and I hope the best for you all and your family. I wouldn’t tell the 15-year-old anything yet. I think until Sarah gets help and can finally deal with her inner demons, she should be the one to eventually tell her. I wish the best for ya, and I do hope it works out! © Steve-19741974 / Reddit
  • Yes, Ellie needs to know. She’s needed to know for some time now. However, blowing up a 15-year-old’s entire world view, her understanding of her own family, and revealing what, to her, will be a major betrayal, is absolutely not something to be done while she’s pregnant. © fernyexotic / Reddit
  • Reunited adoptee here. You have now raised an LDA — Late Discovery Adoptee. And you can ask almost every adoptee (from every era — I’m a 70s-era, closed adoption adoptee) and they’ll tell you that if your adopted child remembers being told they were adopted, you’ve done it wrong. An adoptee should always know their truth, and you’re done screwed the pooch with this. I have no knowledge of the first time I was told I was adopted. My baby book is even for adopters, exceptionally forward-thinking for the 70s! I reunited at 18, and I can honestly say that being adopted is the least of my issues. Telling me from the beginning was the absolutely correct thing to do. You need to sit her down asap and tell her the story, Sarah is rather immaterial here. © stacey1771 / Reddit
  • The best friend I ever had in this world became pregnant at 13 with a 22-year-old man’s baby. I knew it was going to wreck her to give the baby up, and I begged her to keep it. She kept saying it wasn’t her decision, and her mom kept pressuring her to give up the baby. I begged her to reach out to people who could help her. But, she flat refused. She put distance between herself and that child, and she did it for that baby. It absolutely killed that girl inside. There’s a new person in there. She can’t form attachments anymore. I was the last person she loved. I said all that to say this. There is a hell of a burden on your daughter. Have you ever acknowledged that with her? I think you should seek the advice of a professional. I think there’s a lot to unpack in the fact your biological daughter never felt comfortable opening up to you. © Unknown author / Reddit

Relationships with adult children don’t always turn out the way we want them to. Here’s the story of a woman who had to kick her adult daughter out of the house.

Preview photo credit RDNE Stock project / Pexels


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