My MIL Started Treating My Daughter With Traditional Remedies. I Am Furious, While My Husband Believes That She Is Right

Relationships with mothers-in-law can be a real challenge for many. Many daughters-in-law often try to find a compromise and approach their husband’s mother with understanding. However, there are situations where it becomes necessary to openly confront, especially when it comes to matters involving children. This is precisely what happened with our reader.

We got a message from our reader.

Thank you for reaching out to us! We have some tips that you might find useful.

Have a heart-to-heart talk with your mother-in-law.

If it helps, you might want to apologize first for your outburst of anger to have a calm conversation with your MIL later. Share your feelings and concerns. Say something like, “I’ve been trying to treat my baby’s eyes for so long that it was really frustrating to find out the baby has to go through the treatment again.”

Tell her that you appreciate her help, but warn her that home remedies shouldn’t be used when it comes to a child’s health as you don’t know if the baby is allergic or not.

Set boundaries.

Set some boundaries when it comes to babysitting your child. Let your MIL know that certain decisions, especially regarding health, should be made by you and your husband. Clearly state that you rely only on professional medical advice and expect others caring for your child to do the same.

Stand firm on your decision about her not babysitting your child until she accepts your point of view. Make sure she knows that it’s not about blaming her but ensuring that your kid is healthy and safe.

Explain why her methods might not work.

Explain to your MIL that dropping milk into your baby’s eyes might not be a safe or effective remedy. If the pills or eye drops prescribed by the doctor don’t help, it’s highly unlikely that milk will do anything. Besides, since the infection got even worse, it might be a sign that something serious is happening. Consult a professional immediately and check if your baby has some kind of allergy.

Find a compromise.

You might want to give your MIL a second chance and ask her to help in different ways. There are lots of alternative ways she can contribute to your child’s well-being that also align with your preferences. You might try and ask her to come up with some non-medical activities or playtime. Let her know that she’s welcome in your house and her help is wanted as long as it doesn’t hurt the baby.

Our readers’ opinion.

In addition to these suggestions, we decided to reach out to our readers and find out what they think about this situation:

• What gets me is the common advice to have a heart-to-heart talk with the person causing the trouble. The people causing trouble in these situations are uniformly resistant to common sense and decency, never mind boundaries. Most of them sound at least half nuts, which pretty much guarantees talking to them isn’t going to help. Staying away from them is the best solution. © Eva Rudner / Facebook
• As a grandparent myself I would only give medication to the children if the parents knew about it. © Carol Ratcliffe / Facebook
• This is only meant to work if it is the mothers breast milk that creates antibodies to an infection the child has. Not cows milk! © Lauren Anderson / Facebook
• I would have responded the exact same way. I’m an RN and wouldn’t dream of doing anything to my granddaughter without running it by my daughter first. I won’t even medicate her dog without discussing it. Most of the time she agrees with me but if she says she’ll wait a day or so I respect that. © Eileen Woods Litchfield / Facebook
• Don’t let her babysit again unless she agrees to follow your guidelines. Bet she will change her tune when she doesn’t get to see your little one on her own. © Terry Parker / Facebook

This is not the first story where a daughter-in-law is unsure how to navigate her relationship with her mother-in-law and whether she should at all. Here’s another situation where the mother-in-law wanted to spend the honeymoon with her son and his young wife.