My Teenage Daughter Was Pretty Horrified Because My MIL Cut Her Hair. Here’s What I Did in Response

3 weeks ago

Relationships with mothers-in-law are always a hot topic, as not everyone enjoys friendly relations with them. But sometimes, one side’s actions go so far that it affects the children, who suffer as a result. This happened to one woman who complained about her mother-in-law’s behavior.

Here is how it all went, “I have a 14-year-old daughter, she has long and curly hair. My mother-in-law had recently taken my daughter over for the weekend at her and my husband’s father’s house.

They’ve had my daughter over for weekends and holiday stays before, so I wasn’t worried about anything happening, and my daughter seemed fine during our morning and nightly phone calls.

Today, when my MIL dropped her off, I was shocked to see her almost waist-length hair was now shoulder-length and that it was now straightened. My girl has been determined to grow her hair out since she was in the sixth grade, and has expressed no desire to straighten her normally curly hair before.”

“She was crying and explained to me that her grandma had done this all herself, and lied to her that I gave my permission for my MIL to do this, which is why she didn’t mention it when we talked.

Needless to say, I was pissed and after comforting my daughter, I told my husband what happened, and we talked for an hour about what we should do about the situation. We eventually came to the agreement that my MIL wouldn’t be seeing her granddaughter alone until she learned to respect her boundaries.

We ended up calling my FIL to see if he had anything to do with this, and he was horrified when we explained things to him and said that my MIL gave him the same lie about getting my permission to do this.”

“My FIL apologized profusely before hanging up, and I ended up sending a text to my MIL about how she was unable to see her granddaughter alone until she apologized for what she did and learned to respect our daughter’s boundaries.

It was quiet for a while until my husband and I started getting bombarded with texts from both my MIL and my SIL. My MIL is furious with me for trying to keep her away from her granddaughter, and for telling my FIL what happened because he’s now staying in a hotel and contemplating their marriage.

SIL is saying it wasn’t a crime for my MIL to act in my daughter’s best interest even if she went behind my back because clearly I wasn’t going to take care of her.”

  • Consent is the word you are looking for, and this is a great age. I like the tea example found here, but consent should apply to anything, should be the moral. © novae1054 / Reddit
  • The lying about having your permission is what really gets me. Lying to her granddaughter, lying to her husband... what did she expect to happen? I highly doubt that your FIL is contemplating their marriage because of this, it’s more likely that he tried to confront her about it, and she blew up, or maybe it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back. © KatKaleen / Reddit
  • My 10 y.o. recently told me she would want to die if someone cut her hair short. That’s how important hair is to young kids, even if they don’t always take proper care of it. I’m appalled at the actions of the MIL here, I don’t think she would EVER see my kid again without me there. © Vividienne / Reddit
  • Good for you for standing up for your daughter. Don’t listen to anyone telling you your mil was acting in your daughters “best interest.” Your daughter is 14, she’s old enough to decide for herself how she wants her hair. Your mil did this without her consent and she was crying after, it clearly wasn’t in her best interest. © Unknown author / Reddit
  • It is abhorrent the level of disrespect your MIL showed your daughter and you. Now your SIL is jumping onto the wrong side. I would absolutely go No Contact with MIL and SIL until they are ready to apologize and acknowledge their mistakes. That is if your daughter will accept the apology. © Severe-Hope-9151 / Reddit

Many people struggle with their relationships with their mothers-in-law. Here’s the story of another young woman whose mother-in-law started barging into the bathroom without knocking.


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