15 People Recall the Most Hilarious Thing a Doctor Ever Said to Them, and We Can’t Handle Our Laughter

In the realm of medicine, where gravity and empathy usually dominate, there are occasions that spark unexpected laughter. We’ve compiled stories from 15 people who experienced not only medical counsel but also a generous sprinkle of humor. Buckle up and prepare for a voyage into the amusing domain of doctor-patient exchanges, where laughter resonates within the corridors of healing.

• My husband went to see our family doctor once for some upper back and shoulder pain. When he took his shirt off, the doc stood behind him and felt my husband’s shoulder and back, saying, “I know what the problem is.” My husband was like, “What? What is it?” And the doc says, “It’s ink poisoning!” My husband has several large tattoos, and his entire back is one piece. Anyway, he said his heart went to his throat for a split second until he heard the doc chuckle. © Away-Object-1114 / Reddit
• I was looking to get a breast reduction and the plastic surgeon lifted up my breast and dropped it, looked at me, and said “Yeah they’re heavy.” © nope123ee / Reddit
• I basically woke myself up from a coma and pulled out my breathing tube. The doctor later apparently wanted to check if I damaged my vocal cords (which can happen if you just yank the tube out). He checked if I was still awake and asked “Can you say something?” and I replied “Something.” He groaned and replied, “Well, at least the humor is still functioning.” © SkaveRat / Reddit

• Had a nasty throat and tonsil infection and went to the doctor, who looked in my throat and went “Ewww that looks gross!’ I said, ’Is that your professional opinion?” and he said, “Yep! That’s the grossest thing I’ve seen in weeks! Eww!” © wanderingstorm / Reddit
• I smashed my left pinky toe into a door frame, hurt like a mother. Went and got it X-rayed and yep, fractured. A month later I’m at a routine podiatrist visit and my toe is swollen, purple and the toenail is black. I’m explaining to the doctor that I fractured it. He looks closely at my mangled little piggy and says seriously, “Yeah, you’re going to lose that toe.” What??!!! In about 3 seconds I went through the shock of losing a toe, acceptance of losing a toe, and determination to continue living without a toe when the doctor said... “Sorry, I mean toeNAIL. You’re going to lose that toenail.” Gah! © DadsRGR8 / Reddit
• I’m a 43-year-old male. The doctor walked in really fast, head down, went straight to the sink to wash his hands. He said, “I have great news” while washing his hands. “You’re pregnant.” He turned around, looked at me, and said out loud, “My bad, wrong person.” © lifeless_clown / Reddit

• My husband had an enormous inguinal hernia. When his doctor saw it, he actually dropped his professionalism and blurred out, “Oh my god, what is that??” Which is funny now, but at the time was a little bit disconcerting. © SoldMySoulForHairDye / Reddit
• Before the vasectomy, the doctor had given me a prescription for one Valium to take on the day of the procedure if I was feeling nervous. So, I was there in the room, no pants. The doctor comes in and asks, “Did you end up taking that Valium?” I hadn’t, so I said, “No.” He shoots back with, “That’s okay, I took enough for both of us.” © Pitbullpandemonium / Reddit
• I went to a podiatrist (foot doctor) about a nail issue. I was lying down on the exam bed as he was looking at my foot. He said, “You have a really flat foot!” I looked up from the bed and asked what he said, as I didn’t hear him clearly. He proceeded to lift my foot by the ankle and said, “Your foot, it’s very flat!” And then proceeds to HIGH FIVE my foot to prove it." © babybiancadelrio / Reddit

• My midwife was wrist deep inside me doing a difficult cervical check when she suddenly goes, “Hey! Your socks match!” At the time I had too many patterned socks to keep track of, so I usually had mismatched socks at my appointments, so when I had a matching pair for once she noticed during the most awkward moment ever. © rahyveshachr / Reddit
• I was in the middle of getting a gyno exam, the Doc asked what type of birth control I used. I said, “I’m lesbian.” Doc says, “That has proven to be effective.” © Smart-Cry9039 / Reddit
• My wife and I had our child late in life, and knew we were going to be one and done, so a vasectomy was gonna happen. Where I live, you need a doctor’s referral to get one. Coincidentally, my appointment to get said referral was the same week that I started my paternal leave. At my appointment, the doctor walks into the room and says, “You’ve been on pat leave for 2 days, and you already want a vasectomy!?!” © phil_in_t_blank / Reddit

• While giving me a gynecological exam, my very gay male doctor quietly said, “I just don’t see the attraction.” I laughed so hard, the exam was the easiest I have ever had. © Adventurous-Zebra-64 / Reddit
• Went in for an MRI. Doc says, “Well, the good news is you can finally prove the haters wrong and that you really do have a brain. Here’s the proof!” Then hands me a CDROM with the imaging. © firestorm_v1 / Reddit
• My regular gynecologist was called away, so I had a man instead of my usual lady. That’s always a little awkward anyway, but while my feet were in the stirrups, and he was down there doing whatever he was doing, I told him I was getting married soon, and he yelled, “I LOVE LOVE! Let me see the ring!” I had to hold my hand down so he could take a look at it. © Fearless_Lab / Reddit

As we have seen from the experiences of the heroes in our other article, not only doctors but also patients, especially when they have not yet fully recovered from anesthesia, are capable of uttering hilarious phrases.