I Asked My Mom Not to Attend My Wedding to Please My MIL

Feuds between relatives are not uncommon. Conflicts especially escalate during the preparation and execution of large events like weddings. Lara wrote to us, sharing how her big day turned into one of the saddest in her life.

In her letter, she wrote:

We decided to find out what people think about this situation. Some blamed the bride for choosing her wealthy relatives and forgetting about her biological mother.

• I’m sorry, but I would have NEVER excluded my biological Mom from ANYTHING. That would have been enough for me to back out of the wedding, so sorry — all the best wishes to my ex and his family. © Ann Marie Viola / Facebook
• Obviously, money was more important than having your bio-mom there. She sacrificed raising you herself so you could have a better life. The bad adoptive mom did not steer her on the right path when her real mom came into her life. Maybe the adoptive mom was jealous, who knows? I don’t see how any of this is the bio-mom’s fault. Shame on the bride and her snobbish parents and in-laws. © Lyn Hernandez / Facebook
• Wow! What can I say? Money is not everything, and the hurt you gave to your mother is cruel. The trouble is now your mom doesn’t think you want her around, and now she’s gone completely from you, not to mention how devastated she must feel. We all do things to make sure we can make our children’s lives better, for your mom, she gave you a better chance at a stable home, that she couldn’t give you. That was the hardest thing for her to do, also it shows the deep love she has for you. Yet mustn’t upset the MIL! So very sad. © Dani Hanks / Facebook
• Make stupid decisions, get stupid rewards. She should have stood her ground with the MIL and not been railroaded by her. You can’t undo disrespect and shame. © Adrian Lemke / Facebook

Others supported the letter’s author, saying that her mother once again behaved selfishly.

• Parents who abandoned you have no right to anything in your life. She already excluded herself out of your life, so asking that she remain this way for one event, shouldn’t be a big deal. Just like she chose to write you AFTER THE FACT, you can do the same. This is manipulation, she couldn’t even let you enjoy your day without putting her own guilty trip on it, so go ahead and do the same. Your MIL is just making sure that the only permanent fixtures in your life that haven’t abandoned you already, are present and in pictures at the wedding. Because duh, we don’t know the motive behind her bio mom’s return, and her adoptive parents and in-laws are wealthy. You don’t get to come in at the very end and enjoy relationships you did not invest in from the beginning. © Nina KP / Facebook
• Awful that she gave this letter on a day that was so important to you. She could have waited. Cares more for herself. If she wanted to see you, she could have just come like she did and sent a card in saying Congrats. © Veronica Hippensteel / Facebook
• The way bio-mom handled this was really wrong. She managed to make the daughter’s wedding day all about herself. MIL may definitely have been out of line with her request, daughter could have stood up to her, but at the end of the day, that wedding ended up being about everyone BUT the bride! © Trish Valente / Facebook
• The author doesn’t own the woman who threw her away, anything. She may want a relationship with the bio mom and feels bad, but what if she stayed and then abandoned her again and her wedding photos included a bio-mom who wasn’t a permanent fixture in her life? Why wouldn’t she send the letter after the wedding instead of during? © Louna A Min / Facebook

Here’s another heart-wrenching story from a young woman who asked her stepfather not to attend her wedding.