I Refused to Spend My Inheritance on My Stepchildren, and My Husband Decided to Punish Me

10 months ago

We received a letter from one of our readers who finds herself in a difficult situation. The issue is that she inherited some money, which has caused a rift with her husband. Now, she’s unsure if she made the right decision.

Here is Becky’s letter:

G Thorpe Henning

8 months ago

Inheritance is not considered to be marital property, and I believe that your spouse overreacted somewhat. That being said, your spouse does have a point, in that of the chores and child-rearing are shared, then so should the finances, both income and expense.

It is a significant red flag when a marriage is seen in terms of yours and mine, rather than ours.

The both of you should talk, seek counseling, or some of each method to resolve this.

Opinions are divided.

You certainly could have gone about it differently and had a discussion about it. However, given what he did, I would present him with a bill for cooking, cleaning, laundry service, childcare etc. as that is your contribution to the family while he was the “provider”. That should be more than enough to buy yourself your own things. © Andrea Burns / Facebook
I think she’s very wrong. Keep it for yourself, but also do something for the family that you haven’t been able to do. © Lana Starr / Facebook
Keep the inheritance, his behavior shows that he doesn’t appreciate her sacrifices and hard work raising his children. It’s time to get a job and ask him to deal with his children so he knows how difficult it is to be a stay-at-home wife. © Tharsha Ra / Facebook
OMG, my Mum left me an inheritance and I used it to buy a family home. When one is married your husband becomes family so why not be happy and share? © Vivienne Ralph / Facebook
The way you phrased it was always going to cause a divide, however, he can’t dismiss your contribution to the household. You stay at home to care for his children, so you are saving money that would otherwise go to childcare. That money you’ve inherited should be invested for the future when you are both retired. If you’d phrased it like that, maybe you wouldn’t be in your present situation. © Louise O’Rourke / Facebook
Take the $40,000 and use it to find your own place. This relationship doesn’t seem good for either of you. © Dee Trigueiro Southard / Facebook

What do you think, who is right in this situation?

Inheritance often leads to family disputes, and here’s a story of a girl who learned the truth about her siblings during the inheritance division.