My 72-Year-Old MIL Moved In With Us for 6 Months to Help Me With Our Upcoming Baby but I Kicked Her Out
Navigating relationships with mothers-in-law can be challenging, but our heroine’s tale had a promising beginning. Her mother-in-law, initially considerate and supportive, even offered assistance to the daughter-in-law. However, things took an unexpected turn leading to a grand showdown.
“I (36F) live with my husband (41M). I have a decent relationship with my MIL compared to a lot of the horror stories I hear from friends, she’s quite sweet and warm. She is, however, a little over-controlling. Overprotective? I’m not sure of the exact word, but she has very strong ideas about things and no sense of boundaries.
For example, when she stays at our house, she takes over the kitchen completely and insists on cooking all our meals. She cooks wonderfully, but she won’t let me help her at all, and she puts everything away in the wrong places—and then insists that her way is more logical. She only really comes for holidays, though, and I do like her a lot. So I don’t mind putting up with these mild annoyances.”
“I’m currently pregnant with our little girl, who will be born in a few months. This is a miracle. I really didn’t think it would happen, especially so late, but we got lucky. When my MIL heard, she was super excited and said she would come over to help us get ready for the baby.
She offered to stay for the next 6 months or so to help out because my husband and I both work long hours, and it will be hard to handle the baby on top of this. She is also pretty emotionally invested in this because she truly sees herself as part of our family. She arrived a few days ago and set herself up, then she started with the cleaning.”
“I like collecting things from garage sales and such. Things like little sculptures and books and baskets, stuff a lot of people would consider utter junk. Our house is definitely overstuffed, but it’s reasonably tidy and doesn’t seem like a hoarder’s house or anything. My MIL, on the other hand, likes everything surgically clean.
Yesterday I came home from work to find the house like a fight zone. She went through my cabinets and cleared out everything she considered junk, and had apparently made several trips to goodwill before I got home. I was really angry, and I asked her why she would ever do this. She said the house has to be tidy for the baby and that it would be ‘dangerous’ for the baby to be in my cluttered house.”
“Then she took the next huge bag of stuff and tried to walk out the door. I kind of lost it, and I told her she could get out right now. She was shocked that I was serious, and she said she didn’t have anywhere to go and it was so late. It was about 9:30. I booked her a hotel room and called a taxi. My husband came home an hour later, and when I told him what happened, he was furious with me. He says I disrespected his mom and was ungrateful for everything she’s trying to do for us.”
Redditors commented the story.
- She violated your home and disresepcted your wishes. Then when you confronted her about it she continued ignore your right to keep your home as you wish. So you set a clear boundary and doled out reasonable consequences for her inappropriate behavior. And you booked her a ride and a safe place to go while still standing up for yourself. © MarketingManiac208 / Reddit
- If someone comes in and disrespects your home and literally throws your stuff away he should have your back. I think you were wildly optimistic with her staying to ‘help’ when you already know she’s over controlling and takes over in your own home. Mark my words draw those boundaries before the baby arrives, as I’m sure she’ll have strong opinions on what to do there. © CarefulNow- / Reddit
- This is utter disrespect from her and I would make her compensate or try to bring back everything she got rid of. If the hubby is unhappy, he can stay at the hotel as well. Do not let her return. I might actually file a police report, tell your husband that so he understands you are not kidding. © Cool_Department_1027 / Reddit
- Your husband is a bigger problem here, though. He’s got to back you up and be willing to set boundaries with his mother. This is a hill you should be willing for your relationship to die on, because once the baby is born it’s going to only get worse. © Ok-Profession-9372 / Reddit
- Has your husband ever complained about your house being “overstuffed?” Is it possible he knew what his mother was doing and encouraged it? Strangely, she was throwing your stuff away and your husband wasn’t upset. I mean, it couldn’t have been 100% your stuff, right? Some of your husband’s stuff had to be thrown away too? © 2Whom_it_May_Concern / Reddit
- My mom cleaned my house once and threw away a bunch of stuff while I was at work (she was visiting and staying with me). Didn’t talk to her for almost a year and didn’t go to any family events that entire year as well. Those were not her possessions to be giving away. She needs to at least reimburse you, or I’d be filling a police report for theft. © methinksdisdumb / Reddit
This isn’t a unique situation where relationships with mothers-in-law have hit a rough patch. Just read stories about the antics of mothers-in-law that seem to come straight out of nightmares.