Family gatherings, even for happy occasions, can be challenging. Now, imagine the tension skyrocketing when the conflict revolves around something as personal as postpartum body image—and the source is your mother-in-law. That’s exactly what happened to Ann. Join us as we explore her story, where an unexpected “gift” set off a storm of hurt feelings, family drama, and unresolved emotions.
Do I blame you for the reaction? No. I had twins. Yes, it seriously does a number on your body. I had them naturally. I was still bruised after 6 weeks. Unless you were an avid athelete it's going to take Months if not years to fully recover. A different reaction could have been speaking to your MIL separately so the event was not ruined. But I'm sure it was such a shock that she embarrassed you in front of everyone. She could have given the gift to you separately. I also feel that it says a lot about how you feel about your own body. We all need grace. The apology might go to the person the gathering was for, but the MIL needs to leave your body issues between you & your husband!!!
Your feelings are valid: It’s completely understandable that you felt humiliated and angry. Lily’s “gift” was a public display of criticism disguised as concern. It’s okay to feel hurt and to express those feelings, even if it means disrupting a social event.
Your body, your timeline: You are under no obligation to lose weight on anyone’s schedule but your own. Your focus should be on your health and well-being, not on fitting into your pre-pregnancy jeans.
You deserve respect: Lily’s dismissive comments about your hormones further invalidate your feelings and demonstrate a lack of respect for your experience.
Jake needs a wake-up call: It’s concerning that your husband prioritized his mother’s feelings over yours. He should be your biggest supporter, especially during this vulnerable time.
Talk to Jake. Have a heart-to-heart with your husband, Jake. Share how hurt you felt when he defended his mom. Use “I” statements like, “I felt unsupported when you sided with your mom.” This helps him understand your feelings without blame.
Set Boundaries with Lily. Tell your mother-in-law, Lily, that her comments about your weight are unacceptable. You can say, “I appreciate your concern, but I need you to stop commenting on my weight. It’s hurtful.” Be clear but respectful.
Prioritize Self-Care. Surround yourself with supportive people. Focus on your mental and physical health. Consider joining a support group for new mothers or seeking therapy. The Postpartum Support International website has great resources to help you during this time.
Remember, you are not alone. Many women face postpartum fat-shaming, but your worth is not tied to your weight. You are a strong, incredible woman who has brought two beautiful lives into the world. Focus on your amazing babies and prioritize your own well-being. You deserve to feel good about yourself!
The postpartum period can be tough for every woman. It’s a time of big changes, both in the body and emotions. It’s wonderful that celebrities are sharing their real experiences after giving birth. When they show their true bodies and talk about their journeys as new moms, it helps others feel less alone. Their honesty reminds us that every mom goes through challenges, and it’s okay to ask for support.
