Sleeping Together or in Separate Beds | 8 Positive Effects Sleeping Separately Has on Couples

Most people believe that intimacy means sleeping together as a couple and spending a lot of time next to each other. However, in recent years, more and more couples choose to sleep in separate bedrooms and feel happy about it. This doesn’t mean that they have problems, but that they simply think that this is the best choice for them.
We believe that there is no shame in sleeping separately and even science agrees that it can work wonders for many couples. Make sure not to miss the bonus at the end!

1. Your overall health might improve.

During the night, our brain cycles through stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM, your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.

Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.

2. Your skin will thank you for it.

Sleeping alone can absolutely transform your beauty rest, but if you aren’t quite ready yet to sleep in a separate bed you might want to try sleeping in one bed with two individual duvets. This will allow you to get better sleep at night, which in turn can benefit your skin. Because your skin produces new collagen while you’re sleeping, getting enough Zzzs can help your skin stay plump and radiant for longer.

3. You wake up happy and rejuvenated.

This is the result of sleeping without any disturbances. Both partners wake up energized and feel like they can face their respective lives with more focus and control. They are also mentally and physically healthier and they don’t feel resentful toward each other for any sleep disruptions. This way their entire relationship is happier since they wake up refreshed and without any anger whatsoever.

4. You don’t resent your partner for disturbing your sleep.

Couples who sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms do so because of things like snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you toss and turn trying to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.

According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.

5. You avoid arguments.

According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.

Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.

6. You may have different work schedules.

The first thing that makes Japanese couples decide to not sleep together is different work schedules. Waking up your significant other just because you got home late from work or have to leave early won’t result in good quality rest for them. This is why spending the night in a different room makes sense. This will give them both an undisturbed and a healthier rest.

7. You appreciate your partner more.

Physical intimacy isn’t something you take for granted since you can’t just roll over to your partner and cuddle. You actually miss their touch and put more thought into how to approach them and spend intimate time together. This means that this aspect of your life together isn’t becoming a habit, but a rather exciting surprise that keeps you both highly engaged.

8. You get to enjoy more “you time.”

A much-needed time-out will help both of you recharge your batteries and build a relationship with yourselves. You can read a book, watch your favorite show, or do some meditation before going to sleep. You can also use that time to communicate with your friends and focus on them for a bit. All this space will give you more things to talk about with your partner from your separate experiences.

Bonus: People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.

• “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
• “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
• “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
• “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420

Do you sleep in the same bed with your partner? If you’ve chosen separate bedrooms, have you noticed any differences in your relationship?