I Believe a Vegan Wedding Is a Disgrace to the Family, So I Secretly Ordered Meat Dishes

A wedding is a significant event, and the newlyweds and their loved ones want everything to go perfectly. But how acceptable is it for the parents of the bride and groom to interfere in the planning and make changes according to their preferences? This is the question raised by our reader, Norma.

Norma’s letter:

Among our readers, some supported Norma.

• It’s a very self-righteous idea that everyone should eat what they eat and expect people to put up with it if she wants to be a vegan that’s her choice, but she has not got the right to push that choice on her guests. © Adele Holding / Facebook
• Both sides should be catered for, DIL is in the wrong you can’t force people to eat what you eat, keep the food separate and let people have a choice yes there are some nice vegan meals but not everyone likes them. © Larissa Smith / Facebook
• From the bride’s side, it’s disrespectful to the guests. People come to a wedding where they’ll spend many hours and give gifts, after all. In the end, they leave the event hungry and upset. It’s absurd; I wouldn’t want to attend such a wedding under any circumstances. If you want to serve vegan dishes, gather a small group of people who share your philosophy. © Lucy Hems / Facebook

While others condemned her behavior.

• It was THEIR wedding. I love meats as well, and I get her frustration, but people who want to share in the couple’s happy moment can do without meat for ONE meal, or else just decline the invitation. © Lin Lim / Facebook
• Going behind their backs? That is not acceptable behavior to expect from anyone, much less the groom’s mother! Communication would have been a better route to take. © Dawn Kathleen / Facebook
• I do think the MIL was in the wrong for going behind their back. She should’ve at least talked with the bride and groom about her frustrations, versus imposing on the decision they made for their wedding. © Bonnie Bruce / Facebook
• Nobody dies instantly when no meat is served. Instead of trying something “new” MIL stubbornly insisted in sticking to old eating habits. © Doris Herrmann / Facebook
• MIL was out of line. Doesn’t matter what you want on your child’s wedding day, eat before you come if you need meat that bad. When you have your own get-together, you choose the menu, no? There are actually some perfect vegan meal options out there. Your child’s/DIL’s day, not yours. © Keith N Michele Torres / Facebook

Here’s a story about a bride whose mother-in-law took control of the wedding plans and even pressured her to exclude her own mother from the guest list.