I Told My Stepmom to Leave My Wedding, and What She Did on the Big Day Shocked Me

9 months ago

We received an emotional letter from our reader Louisa, whose big day was ruined. What’s more, her relationship with half of her family has been shattered. And much of the blame falls on Louisa herself. Here is her story.

This is Louisa’s letter:

Kusum Choppra

week ago

It was perhaps very indelicate of the would be bride to tell stepmother to stay away from the wedding, after explaining to her own mother. The result was an embarrassing fiasco n more bad blood.

Here’s what readers think about this situation.

Sarahlee Alexander

9 months ago

Absolutely you were in the wrong. You let adults work out of. If she causes a stink then you will have to remember it stink and that she couldn't contain herself long enough for you to enjoy your day.

Take it up with her. But it is not your place to put your step out like that and expect the day to be glorious. I'm sorry you had your special day ruined but I'm sure your step and Dad were equally hurt.

And next time if you want to ensure you can have things your way make it on your own terms.

Not sure the outcome would be anymore in your favor because you're trying to by pass his current wife and that can't fly.

She got precisely what she asked for. She’s lucky her dad didn’t just tell her to find another venue for her wedding. She is definitely the ah! © Tracy Gross-Fisher / Facebook
That’s her house as well. That’s your dad’s wife, you show respect. Your mom and stepmom can be adults and be civilized as such. If I was your dad, I would’ve told you to have your wedding somewhere else. © Niki Palmer / Facebook
I think the person who wrote this needs to get over herself. It’s not YOUR house, if your father wants to live with someone, then the person he is sharing a roof with gets to call that house HER home. If the person who wrote this and/or her mother can’t handle the new person in the man’s life, at the very least find another venue. Shame on her for putting her father in such a horrible position. Our hearts are big enough to love unconditionally without having to choose. Don’t make dad choose between his partner and his daughter. Impossible for him, and nothing but hurt on either side. © Kimberly Fontecchio Walton / Facebook
Yes your mother should move on he did, and you can’t change what happened karma got back to you, I’m speaking as an ex who was so in love with him but learned to let go and accepted his girlfriend for my adult children sake we are family. © Donna Moseley Manthe / Facebook
The advice following didn’t even begin to touch on the OP’s error, or discuss empathy or taking responsibility. “Communicate with your father about how much his absence hurt you” without “try to understand his perspective and how your decision hurt him...” © Jessika Diamond / Facebook

Here’s another story about a woman who said, “My husband moved out for a few weeks, claiming our newborn was ’too loud’ — so I taught him a lesson.”