A woman shared that after her pregnancy with her son last year, during which she gained over 17 kilograms, her husband started making disparaging comments about her eating habits and body size. Hurt by his remarks, she chose to retaliate by targeting his biggest insecurity. However, she later regretted her actions and reached out to us, writing a letter seeking comfort.
I say he deserved what he got, how long did he think he could continue making nasty remarks about your body with impunity. Your body got the way it is growing a new perfect little human inside it, no it will never be the same again, but your husband should worship you as the goddess you are, not make insensitive remarks about how pregnancy changed you. Tell him that if he doesn’t like being criticised for his appearance then he should keep his nasty remarks to himself.
Hello Helen! We appreciate you sharing your story with us. We’ve compiled some advice to assist you in managing this sensitive situation.
Start a sincere conversation with your husband, discussing how his comments have impacted you emotionally. Share your vulnerabilities and concerns about the changes your body underwent post-pregnancy, and how his remarks have heightened your insecurities. Through honesty and vulnerability, you can nurture empathy and mutual understanding in your relationship.
Define clear boundaries regarding acceptable behavior and communication within your relationship. Collaborate to identify hurtful and off-limits comments, and commit to communicating with empathy and respect. Implementing communication guidelines can prevent future conflicts and foster a supportive and understanding environment for both of you.
Consider seeking professional help through couples counseling. A neutral third party can facilitate communication, help both of you understand each other’s perspectives, and provide tools to navigate conflicts constructively. Counseling can create a safe space for open dialogue and healing, allowing you to address underlying issues and strengthen your bond.
Shift the focus from critiquing each other’s appearances to offering positive reinforcement and appreciation. Make it a habit to compliment each other on qualities beyond physical appearance, such as personality traits, parenting skills, or acts of kindness. Cultivating a culture of positivity and appreciation can enhance the health of your relationship.
Prioritize self-care for both of you, emphasizing physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Encourage healthy habits like regular exercise, nutritious eating, and stress management techniques. Offer mutual support and encouragement as you navigate the challenges of parenthood and relationship dynamics.
By prioritizing self-care and supporting each other’s growth, you can strengthen your bond and face challenges together.
As we have seen, the desire to retaliate against your partner often supersedes the desire to engage in an honest conversation, thereby exacerbating the crisis in the relationship.
