We Created a Secret Fund for Our Daughter, but She and Her Husband Freaked Out

month ago

Parents always take care of their children, even if they have already become parents themselves. So, this man and woman created an account for their daughter with a large sum of money so that if she wanted to get a divorce, she would always have the means to live. However, the daughter and her husband did not appreciate this act.

She shared her side of the story.

My daughter has been married to her husband for 3 years, and they recently had their first child. The entire time they’ve been married, she’s been a housewife, and now she’s a stay-at-home mom with no plans to return to work. I think that’s fine and have been supportive. I also know she and her husband both have sizeable life insurance policies, so if one dies, they’ll be okay.

However, she also signed a prenup. Which again, I think is smart. But according to my daughter, she’d get a very small settlement.

And even with child support, there’s a good chance she’d have to return to work. And after being out of the workforce for a bit, who knows if that’ll be a challenge. My main worry is my niece fell into this scenario and even with child support, she struggled.

So, my husband (her father) and I set up a “just in case” account. If she and her husband divorce, she’ll have money to fall back on just in case. If they remain married past the time my husband and I die, it’ll just be added to what she’ll inherit.

I didn’t intend on telling her about it unless it happened, but my husband pointed out that if she was ever in a situation where she wanted to leave but worried she financially couldn’t, it’d be good for her to know she has a Plan B.

So, we told her and she was a little surprised. She said she appreciated it but felt we were “rooting against her.” I said we love her husband and hope they have a long, healthy marriage. We have always been supportive. But this is similar to the prenup. A “just in case”. A last resort.

Well, she told her husband, and he’s pissed at us as well, saying that we don’t trust him. I said it’s looking out for our daughter and really is no different from the prenup. I added that just as he’ll always want to protect his daughter, we’ll always want to protect ours.

People stood on their side.

  • In his own words, your son-in-law said he doesn’t trust your daughter by having her sign a prenup. Does nobody see the double standard? I am struggling every single day. My parents had something set aside for me if I were faced with this very scenario. I was. Only my ex found out and stole every last dime. We had to start over with literally nothing. Your daughter should be grateful. © StephieVee / Reddit
  • I love when you tell someone “I have some money just in case you ever need it” and they immediately get offended because your action threatens their marriage. I would ask them — if your marriage is so fragile that my money can influence it, then maybe you don’t have anything at all.
    People see what they want to see, and such situations reveal perfectly what mindset they have — victim or not. Victims immediately will find something to be offended about, and you can’t do anything about it. © forgeris / Reddit
  • It’s amazing how many men want that financial dependency in order to prevent their partner from leaving them. I’d rather be loved for my personality. © dtsm_ / Reddit
  • You’re just being a caring and pragmatic. It’s true that life doesn’t always go as planned, and you want to ensure your daughter’s financial stability in case her marriage takes an unexpected turn. This “just in case” fund is a practical way to show your love and support, much like having insurance — you hope you never need it, but it’s there if you do. This is about being prepared for any possible outcome. She may not realize it now, but this is a valuable lesson that could help her feel more confident in her future, regardless of how her marriage unfolds. As a parent, you have every right to protect your daughter and look out for her best interests. Your actions come from a place of love and concern, and that’s nothing to feel guilty about. © SkyeMirage / Reddit
  • Just tell them that since the money offended them both, you’ve decided to dissolve the cache and use it for other expenses. (Don’t actually do it, though). This will hopefully get them off your back. If someday she does need it after all, she will say something about it to you. Either “you should’ve kept it anyway, no matter what I said about it!” or “I wish I listened to you about that, just in case money”. Either way, you’ll be able to then tell her she can still use it, because it’s been there all along. © oranges214 / Reddit
  • I mean I put on a seatbelt every time I drive, so by your daughter’s logic, I must be rooting against myself. I’m a big believer in the old adage, “better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it.” © RorschachFan16 / Reddit
  • He had her sign a prenup but is mad you are prepared to pay if he fails as a husband while his wife has sacrificed her career. If she’s not being compensated for her years out of the workforce to take care of his kids per the prenup, then he really ought to keep his lips zipped about you looking out! It’s apparently only ok when he’s looking out for his own interests. When it’s her interests, then it’s a problem! © ASlightHiccup / Reddit
  • You are thoughtful and wonderful parents. I do find it very concerning that your son-in-law was angry about this, as he had his own financial protection through a prenup. Financial security for him, but not for her? Considering his response, I would recommend adding to it and making an appointment with a lawyer to ensure he can’t gain access to it in any way. © Extreme_Mixture_8702 / Reddit

Money is a sensitive issue that sometimes causes families and friendships to fall apart. Here is the story of a woman whose friendship was ruined because of $5.


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