What to Do If Someone Objects at Your Wedding

Psychology
2 weeks ago

“Speak now or forever hold your peace” is a phrase that many soap operas have manipulated since time immemorial. After hearing it, we subconsciously expect some dramatic twist at the wedding ceremony. But even though today we imagine an angry ex speaking in response, in the past it had a very practical meaning. We thought it would be interesting to look at why someone might object at a wedding. And to share some real people’s stories about it.

1. Your wedding could be canceled.

The tradition itself dates back to the 12th century and was introduced by the Catholic Church. At that time, it was a real way to ensure the legality of a marriage before it was made official. The planned marriage was publicly announced before the date. This gave the community enough time to come forward with any information.

Reasons for objection could be such things as being already married to another person, already having a vow of celibacy or a commitment to the church, being a minor without parental consent, or being a close blood relative.

Nowadays, before the actual ceremony, any legal impediments to the marriage are properly checked. In New Zealand, for example, if you think there are legal reasons why someone shouldn’t get married, you can still file a notice of objection.

2. It may turn into a scandal.

Although the phrase “Speak now or forever hold your peace” in modern weddings is a tribute to this tradition, sometimes people use it as an opportunity to speak up and try to stop the wedding. Here are some stories from Reddit users who were at weddings where this was the case:

  • The groom himself. He just stood up there and started crying and, in front of everyone, told the bride that he’d fallen out of love with her a while back, but he didn’t know how to break it off. It was extremely uncomfortable, they both stepped out, and 10 minutes later came back out and got married, because she apparently told him she was pregnant. They’re still together, with 3 kids. © naked_nun_run
  • I was the best man at a wedding, and the groom’s older sister decided to play a joke and stood up and said “I object” then started giggling. The groom’s mother stood up, told her it was an inappropriate joke, and then told her to go home. This mother still refuses to talk to her daughter 4 years later. © PM_ME_UR_PHOBIAS

3. You may discover that you have a secret admirer.

The reason someone might want to interrupt the wedding might not be a desire to reveal something important, but rather it might be an expression of resentment about the whole thing. Of course, no one, not even someone very close to them, can influence two adults who are so sure of their decision that they’ve decided to get married. The only thing that can happen is that it will hurt their relationship. And here are a couple of real-life stories about that:

  • Witnessed this a few months ago. Random guest stood up and proceeded to basically declare his love for the bride and pour his heart out, saying that it should’ve been him up on the alter that day. The whole room went dead silent. The bride turned red with embarrassment and the groom turned red with anger. The best man promptly called for the DJ/MC to start playing music. All this happened in front of that random guest’s wife. © rubber_band_ball

  • The best man at my step-sister’s wedding did this. It was a very large wedding and the rehearsal was bigger than a lot of weddings. The minister was going over the vows quickly while giving instructions on what to do. When he said something about objections, the best man interrupted saying he had to put a stop to this. He was in love with the bride and was sure she felt the same way. My step-sister and everyone else was horrified. It caused plenty of chaos and confusion. As far as I know, after that, neither the bride nor the groom ever spoke to him again. © chadspdx

4. They will steal the show.

Someone might use this opportunity to spice things up. To make the ceremony even more memorable. This really depends on how well the newlyweds want to humor each other. Here are some of those seen and heard:

  • My dad was marrying his third wife. My step-brother and I were in the wedding party. He was about 6, I was 10. The preacher asks if anyone objects and my brother raises his hand so very politely. My dad asks why, and my step-brother replies, “Because I want you to promise to take me fishing whenever I want, first.” © Southern_Kisses

  • This actually happened at my sister’s wedding. My brother-in-law’s boss decided to pipe up and yell, “Yeah mate, I gotta speak my peace... Oh sorry mate, wrong wedding!” Everyone laughed except my brother-in-law who was pretty pissed. © Redcap1981

5. No one would care.

But most of the time, people are so excited about their ceremony that they don’t even want to pay attention to someone yelling. And that sounds reasonable enough, take a look:

  • I attended a wedding as a guest of a family member and when the pastor said this, the doors busted open to the sanctuary and a man appeared and started to say “I do!” — but 2 huge ushers, one who was my date, quickly grabbed the guy before he could say anything but “Uhhh” under the arms and literally lifted him up off the floor and carried him out. The wedding continued as normal. Turned out the guy was the ex of the bride. Strangest sight I ever saw. © deleted

  • I went to my older brother’s wedding when I was 5. They said the whole “speak now” speech and right before he was done, little 5-year-old me said, “I OBJECT!” And everyone turned to me. I was dead silent because I didn’t know what would happen. My dad asked me “Well, why do you object?” And I said, “I did not know what would happen if I did” and I was promptly seated. © Camero32
  • Went to a co-workers wedding and the maid of honor objected and admitted to being the other woman and that the groom had been cheating with her for months. The bride left in tears and the groom immediately tried to get with the MoH, but she told him she wasn’t gonna hurt the bride further and that he needs to f*ck off. The bride is doing much better and is now a manager here, and I haven’t heard from the groom in over a year. The MoH and bride are on speaking terms, but I don’t think their relationship is gonna ever be what it used to be. © saffronar

But even with the perfect dress and a smooth ceremony, there are still ways to make your wedding unforgettable. Want to be inspired by iconic movie moments? Check out our next article, for a look at dresses that stole the show!

Comments

Get notifications
Lucky you! This thread is empty,
which means you've got dibs on the first comment.
Go for it!

Related Reads