13 Parenting Methods That Will Teach Your Kid How to Be Independent and Responsible

Psychology
8 months ago

Children misbehave for various reasons, with boredom being one of the most prevalent factors. They come to understand that their actions have results, particularly when it leads to them getting what they desire. Additionally, the need for power may drive their mischief as they seek to gain control over their environment. As parents or caregivers, it is essential to learn how to address and manage these behaviors in a constructive manner.

1. Say thank you and I’m sorry to them.

Please don’t ignore it if your child wants to help you. Everyone needs to hear words of appreciation. Learn to say thank you and I’m sorry to them. This type of behavior “makes you feel closer and helps your relationship with them, no matter what age they are.”

2. Show them a more calm approach to situations

Don’t tell then that nothing awful has happened or ask them to stop crying. If your child is having a “meltdown,” just distract them. Ask them what color their clothes or shoes are. The thing is that they weren’t thinking about what they’re wearing and they start to concentrate on it. And then you’re done! And the tears are gone.

3. Be patient and do not criticize their attempts.

When we do something for the first time, we are likely to make mistakes and have to make several attempts until we get what we want. If that happens to us as adults, imagine how often it can happen to children. Therefore, it is essential that we have patience with them and praise their attempts instead of criticizing them.

Constant criticism and correction will only make children form a bad self-image and feel incapable. Applied in a timely and measured manner, praise can be a great tool to enhance their self-esteem and raise confident and mature little people.

4. Make them aware of potential bad outcomes

“Because I said so” is not a good reason to give to a child when they ask you why they shouldn’t do something. Always try to communicate with them and explain to them what might happen if they are misbehaving and why they shouldn’t do certain things. Make them aware of the natural consequences their actions might have, so they can learn and make better decisions for themselves later.

5. Don’t force them to eat a certain food.

If a child refuses to eat lunch, but wants their favorite sweets instead, offer them dessert as a prize for finishing. This tip works extremely well if your kid is competitive, so they’ll put all their effort into eating lunch in a hurry, just to enjoy the sweet prize afterward.

Don’t be judgmental and try to find compromises. Children are more likely to cooperate if you offer them a good deal.

6. Create a home routine they have to follow and reward them for it

Help them develop a good routine like no TV after a certain time, helping with the dishes, brushing their teeth, and going to bed at an appropriate time. And if you want to get creative, you could draw up a board for the month. Tell them that if they follow their routine for the whole month (or 1 or 2 weeks) they could get some kind of reward of their choosing.

7. Make them feel like they have a choice.

Personal stories than have worked are sometimes better than any study. “I don’t know if you would call it reverse psychology, but I didn’t realize it until my dad told me this. When there were chores that needed to be done, he noticed that if he asked me to mow the lawn, I would complain and procrastinate. But if he asked would I rather mow the lawn or wash the windows, I’d pick one and just get it done. It shattered my brain when he told me when I was in my 20s. I use it when I’m coaching or babysitting all the time and it almost never fails.”

8. Give them logical consequences for breaking the rules

Logical consequences are tied to a specific misbehavior. For example, if your child doesn’t want to eat their greens, don’t let them have dessert. Or if they don’t want to pick up their toys, don’t let them play with them for the rest of the day. This is good for kids who are struggling with specific things. However, avoid consequences that aren’t logical, for example — if they don’t want to eat their food, don’t make them clean the garage.

9. Help them clean up after their mistakes.

Narcissistic people don’t usually take responsibility for their actions and their consequences, especially if these are negative. That is why teaching your children from their own mistakes or bad behavior, explaining to them why what they did was wrong, can help children to take responsibility for their mistakes and mitigate this characteristic of narcissists.

10. Try to ask for their opinions and solutions to problems

Ask them if there is a problem or if something is bothering them, if there is something wrong and they tell you what it is, sit down with them and discuss it. Try to ask for their opinions and thoughts on what they think they should do to fix a problem. If they don’t have an answer help them out a bit, but remember, it’s important to make them feel like they are solving their problem and it’s important to congratulate them and encourage them.

11. Find better ways to say ’no’.

It’s not a nice feeling to have to say no to your own kid, even if it is a toy which they have a lot of already. So, don’t say no. Tell them to “put it on the list.” This will help you to avoid arguments and tears in the store.

12. Acknowledge the emotions they are feeling and try to help them

Instead of acting like they are bad or mischievous, you can show them that you understand them and how they are feeling. Since emotions play a big role in a child’s behavior, it’s always good to acknowledge them. For example, a simple, “I know you’re disappointed we can’t go out to the beach today, but the weather is not good. Let’s do something else together to make up for it,” could go a long way with your child.

13. React in a curious way when your child says something mean.

It’s only normal for your children to say mean things about their family members or make fun of their friends from time to time — and it’s crucial to react to this in the right way so your child can build regulation and behave better.

“Our child’s words are a window into our child’s world. Don’t take the exact words at face value. Instead, use your child’s words to inquire into the more important and larger story underneath. This does not reinforce bad behavior, this helps your child get to the root of what’s upsetting them, which helps your child build regulation, which leads to better behavior,” Dr. Becky Kennedy explains.

Different people use different methods while raising their kids and some of them are highly unusual. But some hacks are so genius and any parent would appreciate.

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