6 Not Evident Signs That Your Partner Can Be Suspected in Infidelity

When it comes to love, trust is the cornerstone of any relationship. But sometimes, subtle changes in behavior might leave you questioning if everything is truly as it seems. Here are some unexpected signs that could signal trouble in paradise.

1. They suddenly care about their appearance.

A sudden shift to hitting the gym, buying stylish clothes, or wearing cologne every day could mean they’re trying to impress someone — perhaps someone who isn’t you.

“The reasons and timing must make sense,” Psy.D. says. "If your partner is suddenly wearing cologne or spending a lot of money on new clothes, and it was never their thing in the past, it’s “not unreasonable to inquire why,” he adds. “If their answer doesn’t make sense, it should raise a red flag.”

2. They overshare.

When you casually ask about something like an office party, and your partner responds with an overly detailed account—naming every guest, listing the dishes that were served, and recounting a minute-by-minute rundown—it could be a case of “too much information.”

While it might seem like openness, excessive detail can sometimes be a tactic to overcompensate or distract from the truth, especially if they’re trying to cover up something.

“Liars talk too much,” says Ramani Durvasula. According to the specialist, when someone is telling the truth, their answers are usually straightforward and concise because they don’t require much effort to recall. Cheaters, on the other hand, may craft elaborate stories filled with unnecessary details about where they’ve been or what they’ve done. These lengthy explanations often serve as a fabricated alibi to make their narrative seem more convincing.

3. They start using cash instead of their credit card.

Credit cards are easy to trace, while cash is much harder to track, experts explain. If your partner used to be focused on earning rewards points but has suddenly switched to using cash, it might be worth a conversation.

That said, a change in behavior doesn’t always mean infidelity—there could be a reasonable explanation that has nothing to do with cheating. However, if these patterns seem familiar, and you can’t pinpoint a reason for the shift, it’s important to address the situation. Ideally, there’s a logical explanation for their seemingly shady actions. Either way, you deserve clarity.

4. They’re overly defensive.

Defensiveness in a relationship can be a significant indicator of underlying issues, including potential infidelity. When a partner becomes overly defensive, especially in response to routine questions or discussions, it may suggest they are concealing something or experiencing guilt.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, identifies defensiveness as one of the “Four Horsemen” that predict relationship dissolution. He explains that defensiveness is fundamentally an attempt to protect oneself and ward off a perceived attack. The major problem with defensiveness is that it obstructs communication. Rather than understanding each other’s perspective, discussions become centered on self-defense, preventing resolution and escalating conflict.

5. They suddenly develop different taste in music or hobbies.

Maybe they suddenly take up bungee jumping despite having a fear of heights, or start listening to classical music when they’ve always preferred heavy metal, or they become so much fond of cooking, while earlier, all their culinary masterpieces were narrowed to making a fried egg.

While it could be a sign of expanding their horizons, or even a symptom of certain disorders, experts claim that it might be a way of trying to impress someone new by adopting their tastes. “They also become hyper-aware of every detail because they’re infatuated with the person they’re seeing,” an expert adds.

6. When you talk, they rock back and forth. Plus, they start slouching.

By now, you should be comfortable having conversations with each other. However, if your partner is hiding something, pay attention to unusual (and often unconscious) behaviors, advises body language expert Lillian Glass, Ph.D. “Rocking back and forth indicates they’re feeling nervous around you,” she says.

If their previously perfect posture suddenly changes, it could be a red flag. “Hunching over is a form of retreating into the fetal position—something people do when they feel ashamed or know they’ve done something wrong,” the expert claims.

If these signs hit too close to home, don’t jump to conclusions. Instead, communicate openly and calmly. Trust in relationships is built on honesty — and if it’s broken, it’s better to face the truth than to live in doubt. Your instincts can be a powerful thing. Don’t ignore them, but also don’t let fear dictate your actions.