My Parents Gave Me a Lousy Gift Because They Spent All Their Money on My Sister’s Present

The illness of a family member is a terrifying ordeal. All relatives come together to support and help each other through this challenging time. However, the actions of those who support and care for the sick often go unnoticed, as all attention is focused solely on the patient.

They explained what happened.

My sister was diagnosed with cancer last year. It has been hard on our family and even harder on her. I love my sister and I tried to be there for her as best as I could. I also did everything I could to make things easier for my parents. I took over all chores, cooked every day, cleaned the house, did laundry, took care of my younger siblings, and babysat them more.

Luckily she is doing really well and has recently finished her treatment which is great, and we are all grateful. Our birthdays are two weeks apart, and hers was two weeks ago. My parents bought her a new car to celebrate after everything she went through which I understand, she does deserve it, but I was a bit surprised because I thought they didn’t have any money. My dad has been unwilling to help me get a used car since last year, telling me that they do not have the money.

I didn’t even want him to pay for all of it, I have been saving up and just wanted them to help me with the rest, but he kept telling me that they have no money for that. Well, my birthday just rolled around, and my parents bought me a book that I mentioned in passing and a $25 take-out gift card to a place I like. I thanked them, but they saw that I wasn’t too thrilled and asked me what was wrong.

I told them that while I appreciated the gifts, I thought that they were finally going to help me with the remaining $800 for buying the used car seeing that they could now afford a new car for my sister. But that’s when they accused me of being jealous of my sister who had just gone through something very traumatic and that I was trying to make everything about me and why couldn’t just be happy for her. They said that at the end of the day, I had a job and could just continue saving.

People stood on OP’s side.

• “I get it, cancer is scary, but the fact that you picked up a lot of the slack in the household for them and that went unnoticed/unappreciated is not okay. They clearly haven’t put any effort in with you because your sister is sick, and that’s leading to a ‘golden child’ issue that will come back to bite them. Try explaining why you feel the way you do, point out everything that’s unbalancing the scales and if they’re still stubborn LC and stop helping out as much.” © SakuraKitsune4 / Reddit
• “So you have basically been an unpaid housekeeper for about a year, preventing you from taking an extra job and saving up those 800, and they can afford to buy her a new car. Yeah, this does not add up nicely.” © MistressLyda / Reddit
• “Time to take more hours at work and if you’re at school, spend more time there. Oops, sorry parents, I’m saving money. I can’t clean today, sorry studying for school, can’t babysit. Stop helping them and tell them you helped while she was sick, and she’s clearly fine now. Be grateful that you helped so much then. Save, and when you can, leave.” © Livetorun123 / Reddit
• “Your issue isn’t with what your sister got. It’s with the extremely lopsided behavior they’re showing. This sucks, but I’m not sure if they will change. Try to talk to your sister and be sure she understands your problem isn’t with her, it’s with your parents. Try to keep her on your team, you might need her as an ally later, since your parents probably won’t change.” © 3littlepixies / Reddit

• “I’m a parent of a chronically ill child. My oldest took it upon himself to help us by understanding and learning how to care for his young sibling. We are a family, and we all care for each other. I wish my youngest didn’t have to deal with this — NOR do I wish my oldest to feel as though he has to be equally responsible for their siblings’ health. We help each other because we love each other. I notice how much my oldest does and thank him as much as I can and hug him as much as I can. They are different, but both deserved attention for the different situations they are in. I would’ve given you a car because of what you have done to help your family through this time. You sacrificed as much, just differently. As I parent — I see you, your contribution, and selflessness.
  You are a good kid.
  I hope you can speak with your parents about this, and they are able to see how short-sighted they have been. I get being super anxious and worried — I do understand it happens. But I hope they can see the other side of it too. Take care of yourself — you seem to be on the right track and a good person.” © Glad_Commercial183 / Reddit

Such difficult trials test the strength of family relationships. Here is the story of a woman whose husband wants her to shave her head in support of his mother, who is undergoing therapy.