9 Signs That Your Relationship Is Sturdy As a Rock
Love is dynamic and it requires a lot of action from both sides in order to grow and thrive. It doesn’t matter how others view the love we are experiencing as long as we are honest and true to it. But love isn’t perfect and it can have a lot of hurdles and thorns that only make a couple stronger. What’s important is to know how to communicate in order to overcome and solve anything that appears in front of you.
1. You go on vacations separately.
The number of people who go on vacation without their partners is growing, with around one-third of American adults admitting they go on solo trips. It can even make your relationship stronger: if you truly love your partner, you will miss them. At the same time, you can do whatever you want. For example, you can go and visit museums while your partner is out somewhere climbing mountains.
Last summer I needed a break, and my husband couldn’t take the time off with me. I was pretty discouraged but took the time off without him. I spent the morning hiking in the mountains by myself, and took myself out to eat for lunch, and took myself shopping for me, and not my kids. It was probably the most relaxing day off I’d had in a long time. It gave me time to refocus, and take my own sweet time to enjoy the day. I didn’t have to wait for kids or keep up with them, and I didn’t feel rushed to go fast because of my husband’s busy schedule. It was my time. And I think every married couple needs to take a break without the other one, even if it’s just one day away, it is a good thing. © Lizzy White / Quora
2. You argue often.
Sometimes when you are very angry with each other, you have arguments. Doctor Elizabeth Dorrance says that the people we love the most, get the most of our negative emotions. On the other hand, conflicts are good for relationships, because they indicate that you both need to change something. It is important to be able to end conflicts on a positive note and admit your mistakes.
- I have friends that love having intellectual battles between themselves, it’s how they connect to each other and express their love. © Iwunderalot / Reddit
- When your partner takes criticism from you seriously, without immediately trying to turn it back on you. If the converse is also true, you 2 stand a great chance of going the distance. © SqueakyCleanNoseDown / Reddit
3. And you don’t leave any issues unresolved.
When we say that a relationship comes easy, we mean that you don’t have to struggle to find time for each other. You find time, even if you don’t have a lot, just because you want to see the other person. And even when you disagree or have fights, you find ways to resolve them, since you put your relationship over your ego and pride. It doesn’t matter if you win or lose the fight, since all you want is to be with that person.
Not only that, but you also feel safe with them, like you can fully trust them with your heart. Your nerves probably relax when you see them, even if you just had the worst day at work. You feel like you can share your vulnerable parts with them, since you trust that they won’t hurt you.
4. You don’t talk a lot.
You can be together in silence for a long time. You don’t feel uncomfortable and you don’t have to talk all the time. Doctor Roni Beth thinks that the couples that can just be together in silence, doing their own thing, have a very special connection.
- My dad always told me that all I needed to do to make friends was to be ok at talking, good at listening, and excellent at keeping my mouth shut. © Pretty*****Chalant / Reddit
- Being able to be happy in “awkward” silence is actually truly loving silence. It says everything words cannot. © BigBossLittleFiddle / Reddit
5. Your partner doesn’t spend time with your family.
If your parents and your partner get along well, that’s great. But it’s far less pleasant if they don’t like each other. This doesn’t have to be a source of conflict though. Your partner doesn’t have to take part in family dinners with your parents, but he or she can still love you and respect your relatives. You just need to set the ground rules as soon as possible.
- Don’t try to turn your parents against your partner and use them as a weapon to control him or her. © Matthew Joaquin / Quora
6. You feel empathy and compassion toward them.
When true love exists between you and your partner, you feel for them whenever they are sad or really happy. Even if you are not in the same mood yourself, you will feel excited when something great happens to them. This is a level of emotional intimacy and connection that pure love can create. In moments of sickness, you also want to be there for them as much as you can and help them get better as soon as possible.
7. You express your feelings in different ways.
You can have different ideas about how to express your feelings. For one of you, words are important, for the other one — actions, hugs, and other things are important. A study shows: people who stay in a marriage for a long time treat buying food or cleaning at home as a way to show love and care.
It’s important to know the way in which someone best expresses and best receives signs of love/affection. A lot of guys are physical lovers, meaning that they best receive signs of affection through literal physical affection, like a kiss or hug that wasn’t asked for. On that same token, they might have a partner whose love language is something like the written word or speech, these kinds of people love to be told, in elegant and profound ways, about the feelings their partners hold. Things like love letters, long talks, and friendly notes make them feel appreciated and show them the true feelings of someone. © Christopher Johnson / Quora
8. You have different views and interests.
Doctor Mark White thinks that people overemphasize the value of similar hobbies. In his opinion, common interests may just help people ignore their problems and prolong a relationship that is no longer viable. Psychologist Diane Barth thinks that most of us need someone different from us, to make us strong and make our lives richer.
- My partner and I don’t like the same music, art, books, or hobbies, and we have very different friends but we agree about the core stuff like he understands my ambition, he knows I am not the housewife type — things that matter. @ Anonymous / Quora
If you find someone who agrees with you on EVERYTHING, and is exactly like you, I’d think that would be pretty boring. I want a woman who will bring me to new places, and show me new things, and introduce me to new foods, etc. I don’t want a twin of myself. @ Mark Taylor / Quora
9. You don’t try to please each other at your own expense.
You don’t do the things your partner doesn’t like doing for them. You do the housework together. Psychologist Atalanta Beaumont is against trying to please your partner a lot. If someone tries to help other people too much, it may be because in childhood, their effort wasn’t rewarded or they didn’t feel like they were good enough.
- If you try to please everyone, you end up sacrificing your own needs sometimes. It’s okay to displease people. You can’t make everyone happy, and if you could, that’d be worrisome. © Daniel Dye / Quora
Bonus: signs that it’s fake love.
- They profess their love more on social media and around friends than they do in private.
- Your conversations are drier than the Sahara Desert.
- They try to change you and your habits.
- They don’t work with you to find solutions to problems.
- You’re not their priority.
- They mention their ex way too often.
- They don’t make future plans with you.
- They like showing off.
Have you found the person that makes you feel like you are the perfect combination? Would you change anything in your relationship or is it great the way it is?