My Mother-in-Law Expects Me to Treat Her Like My Wife, I Couldn’t Bear It Anymore and Replied Harshly

When a man and a woman get married, they form a new family. But there are also their parents, the mother-in-law and father-in-law. Building a good relationship with them is important. Sometimes there might be problems or differences in opinions. It’s okay. Talking about it calmly and trying to understand each other can help solve these issues. However, sometimes very controversial situations can appear. Our reader shared his story and asked for some advice.

Hello, Patrick! Thanks for reaching out.
We, the folks at Bright Side, put our heads together and came up with this advice for you.

• Communication is crucial, especially after a disagreement. Ensure your mother-in-law knows that you still value and respect her even if you don’t buy her the same gifts as your wife. Help her realize that your relationship with your wife is unique, so she’ll be treated differently from Samantha.
• Establish clear and healthy boundaries with your mother-in-law. Having good boundaries is vital if you want a strong relationship with her. Talk to Samantha and let her know that her pushy behavior isn’t something you find acceptable, and she should respect the boundaries in your relationship.
• Your letter shows you felt disappointed because your mother-in-law didn’t seem grateful for the gift you picked out. You can talk with her and explain that the wooden picture frame had special significance to you and you thought she would appreciate it. While you can’t make her thankful, you can help her see the personal value of the gift to you.

We also decided to find out what our readers think about it.

• Write her a check to go get her own darn gift!! I’d love anything personalized and especially if my grands had a hand in it! © Bonnie Dubina / Facebook
• I don’t expect my son to treat me like his wife. His love and respect is totally different for his wife. © Katica Vidak / Facebook
• You are supposed to spoil your wife! Her mother should be happy for her and not expect anything from you! © Lisa Palermini / Facebook
• Just give MIL a card until she learns her place. Those that come at me with a list of demands generally leave with very little. If your wife supports you in private, but not in MIL presence give her a card as well, at least they will both be equal. © Janet Smith / Facebook
• Your MIL is spoiled, if your wife sides with her mother, fine- then she can keep spoiling her. I would ignore her whenever she tries to play entitled and I would tell her to ask her husband- not me. Don’t care if she doesn’t have a husband, that’s on her. © Lise Hansen / Facebook
  

Getting along with family members, especially your spouse’s parents or your own, can be tricky. Sometimes it can turn into a real nightmare, because everyone has different ideas about how things should be. These differences can lead to disagreements or misunderstandings. Even though it’s normal to have some bumps in the road, it’s essential to work through these challenges by talking and being patient.