14 Parenting Mistakes That Can Prevent a Child From Achieving Financial Success
All parents dream of having their children do well in school, stay out of trouble, and be successful when they grow up. Unfortunately, there is no magic wand that can help your child achieve this, but psychologists identified several parenting mistakes that can reduce your child’s chances of becoming successful in the future.
At Now I’ve Seen Everything, we found out, with the help of psychologists, what mistakes you should avoid to help your child to grow up into a successful person.
1. Keeping your child away from chores
If your child is not involved in cleaning their room, it means someone else is doing that for them. In this case, the child doesn’t learn to be responsible and contribute to the betterment of the whole. According to psychologists, those who helped around the house from an early age grow up into more independent adults and cooperate better with colleagues.
2. Teaching your child to save money
Life doesn’t stand still, and yesterday’s ways of earning or saving money are unlikely to work today. No one knows what skills we will need to survive in the new economic environment and that is why it’s so important to teach your child to be flexible, rather than to save money.
- Victoria’s grandfather saved money all his life, but then the financial crisis came followed by a market crash, and the saved amount became worthless. All this happened in front of his already grown-up granddaughter, so now she is ready for the fact that the economy can collapse at any moment, and she believes that the best financial solution is investing in her own education.
3. Not standing up for your child before other people
Sometimes adults try to convince a child that their feelings are wrong. Did you get a bruise? — It doesn’t hurt at all. Are you angry with a kid who hit your head with a shovel in the sandbox? — Shame on you. Are you sad? — Cheer up. Of course, parents try to replace their children’s real feelings with more “acceptable” ones, not because of bad intentions, but for educational purposes. However, it’s important to understand that one of the main skills of a modern person is to be in harmony with their feelings, emotions, and needs.
- Alina is 37, but she still remembers the day when her mother forced her to give another girl her beautiful doll. “It’s bad to be so greedy, it’s a shame to be angry about a toy,” her mother said. The doll was never returned, and it took Alina a long time to learn to say no to arrogant people, including management and colleagues. Every time she tried to do this, she felt guilty.
4. Demanding your child choose a profession for “their entire life”
The idea that there should be only one profession for life is doomed to failure. Some modern professions didn’t even exist 10 years ago, while others, on the contrary, have sunk into oblivion.
- Since childhood, Andrew has liked computers and studied different programs, but his parents considered this hobby harmful. One day he found out about software testing courses on the internet, took them, and is now quite successful in this area.
- 37-year-old Tatyana worked as a sociologist for a large consulting company, but after her son was born, she couldn’t dedicate as much time to work as before. Earlier Tatyana was fond of photography, so she decided to try it again. First, she took photos of her child, then she began to photograph the children of her friends and acquaintances. A couple of years later, Tatyana opened her own studio. Now she earns as much as her husband and successfully combines work with caring for her family.
5. Showing the difficulties of adult life
There is nothing bad about the fact that children sometimes see their parents sad. But it can be bad when it happens all the time. In this case, the child either tries to support you (meaning the roles in the family change), or, by seeing how “terrible” adult life is, the child is afraid to grow up. But professional achievements require a mature and confident approach.
- Eugenie’s parents often bickered. Besides, she often heard her mother say that life was really difficult, and that their family was not as lucky as other families. At the age of 17, Eugenie began college and moved to another city, but she had to work hard on herself before she stopped giving in to other, more “successful” people.
6. Not letting your child express their feelings
It’s important for every child to know that in any conflict, no matter what happens, parents will be fair and won’t trust the words of a teacher, a school principal, or a neighbor immediately. Letting your child defend themselves with the condition that they will be responsible for their actions, parents help their child form adequate self-esteem and a responsible attitude.
- Anastasia was raised by her grandmother, whose favorite phrase was “What will people think?” The grandmother adored her granddaughter and only wished her the best, but she constantly taught her to take public opinion into account. Anastasia can’t make her own decisions, and even when choosing a dessert at a café, she is guided by the opinion of her friends.
7. Making examples of successful people
Every generation has its heroes that people set as role models. In the past few decades, stories about the personal success of rich and powerful people have become very popular. It seems that you can just study their life path and achieve success, but for some reason, this method doesn’t work, otherwise all of the fans of this literature would have said goodbye to financial problems a long time ago. It would be better to help children identify what qualities they admire in their role models and remind your children that they don’t have to do everything that the role model does.
- Nick has been fond of computers since childhood. One day, his dad read Steve Jobs’ success story to him — and since then, the young computer genius started collecting any information he could get his hands on about the founder of Apple. When the time came for him to choose a university, Nick decided that he didn’t need a higher education, because his role model didn’t have a university degree. Despite that, he ended up having to enter university to become a professional and get prestigious work afterward. Now Nick likes to say, “What’s good for Steve Jobs is a waste of time for a simple guy.”
8. Not letting your child have a verbal argument
Perhaps one of the most important professional skills is the ability to communicate well. It’s important to teach a child to not only be friendly but to also argue properly. People’s opinions may not always be the same, but you can express your emotions in different ways. The sooner we understand this, the easier it is for us to communicate with others, including in the professional sphere.
- Diana had tried to avoid conflicts all her life: it was easier for her to agree with her opponent than to oppose them. She knew from childhood that “someone has to be smarter,” but this strategy has always worked against her. One day, Diana read about the technique of “I-messages” and active listening and decided to practice it in her professional field. She was good at showing attention to the words of whoever she was talking to and explaining her own feelings about how other people try to take advantage of her because of her inability to say no. At first, people perceived this style of communication strangely, but later conflicts with colleagues became more constructive and began to lead to mutually beneficial solutions.
9. Not teaching your child to set long-term goals
Psychologist Angela Duckworth says that it’s really important for parents to develop perseverance in their children. It’s worth teaching them to strive for the future they want to create. Those who use phrases, like “You can’t do anything right,” or “You are useless” when talking to their children reduce their chances of becoming successful.
10. Not letting your child use social media
Now, social media is the same platform of communication as the streets once used to be. Children master various useful skills in a matter of days with the help of programs built into online communities. Of course, it’s worth setting certain safety rules, but it’s cruel to ban social media altogether.
- The mother of 10-year-old Anne was very surprised to find out that her daughter had learned to make cool videos. But she was even more amazed when she learned that her daughter had mastered this skill with the help of TikTok. Now making short videos is a new family hobby.
11. Paying them for good grades
This topic is still up for discussion. If you look at the situation from the point of view of business relations, then usually the one who is more interested pays, and the contractor provides the service for the money.
- Alina’s parents decided to encourage their daughter with money for good grades. The girl did get good grades at school, and it seemed that the experiment was effective. But one day it turned out that Alina kept telling the teacher that she was ill and that her parents were fighting all the time. Of course, the teacher felt sorry for the “poor girl” and gave her better grades. Since then, the parents stopped giving their daughter money for grades and turned to a child psychologist.
12. Not letting your child get a pet
Often, parents ban things for their own convenience. For example, they don’t allow them to have a pet because it will require additional expenses, cleaning, and care. It’s easy to understand these parents: too many things to do, too many worries, too tired to bring a certain amount of chaos into your life. But it’s important to understand that a child will grow to be responsible if they get to have a pet.
They will learn to stick to the pet’s schedule of feeding, going out for a walk, and sleeping. Of course, the chores a kid can do for a pet will be delegated by the parents according to the kid’s age. Another important pro is that the kid will learn to make decisions regarding the pet, like finding a name and picking out the best type of food.
13. Building your child’s character with the help of professional sports
Contrary to the popular belief that playing sports teaches discipline and builds character, professional sports are dangerous not only for a child’s health, but also for their psyche. In the end, only a few become champions. At a young age, it’s not easy to cope with this injustice, and low self-esteem is formed very quickly. In addition, children who, for various reasons, quit playing their chosen sport sometimes can’t figure out what to do next in life.
- Nina’s mother was engaged in rhythmic gymnastics as a child, but she had to give up her dream of becoming an Olympic medalist due to an injury. When Nina was 3 years old, she was also put in gymnastics but she never managed to achieve high results. At the same time, she wasn’t a very good student in school — she felt like a loser and couldn’t understand what she was good at for a long time. Now Nina is studying to be a child psychologist and in the future she will help parents avoid mistakes when raising children.
14. Berating your child for failures
Psychologists note that it’s important to teach your children to not be afraid of failures and to take defeats with dignity. If a child is punished for a mistake, they lose the desire to do anything, gain experience, or improve their skills.
What other parenting mistakes do you know of? Tell us in the comments below.