My MIL Humiliated Me in Front of the Entire Family, and I Made Sure She Got What She Deserved

Relationships with a mother-in-law don’t always go smoothly. Here’s how one of our readers faced issues in communication with her in-laws, which eventually affected her relationship with her husband.

This is Antonia’s letter:

Here’s what our readers think.

• I would have made a joke out of in front of everyone like “Yes, us vegetarians love our cheese” and laughed. I would have cracked jokes all night about being a vegetarian. MIL would have then looked bad without you having to disappoint your son. If MIL then caused a scene, you could have said, “I am so sorry. I know you went to a lot of trouble to cater to my dietary needs, and I thank you for your considerate nature. I did not mean to make YOU uncomfortable!” Next time, have all celebrations at your house. Offer a wide variety of foods. My guess is most of the guests know what she is like anyway! © Molly Griffith / Facebook
• When it’s your own son’s 7th birthday, you should have let it go, especially at the party! You could have eaten later. Instead, you upset your little boy! You should be ashamed of yourself. Yes, she should have had more food for you, but it was not your party and you not having a special meal was insignificant! Personally, I love bread & cheese and that would have been a good option for me. © Diana Feldman / Facebook

• When I read these stories I feel like there’s so much people could avoid... while I understand she felt ridiculed, I can’t stop thinking it most had other options as side dishes, or was it all cover in meat? “Potatoes with ground meat on top, rice with chicken, fries with bacon?”
  Also, you could have taken your mother-in-law and talk to her as an adult woman and said straight to her face, “You always ridiculize me because of my dietary preference and that’s not ok. I’m your grandson’s mother and your son’s wife, we suppose to be family. If you didn’t want it to take care of my meal, which by the way you offered to do so, why didn’t you tell me? I would bring my own food. What’s the point of making me feel bad and uncomfortable? Do you realize of your behavior?”
  The point is to speak out what you actually feel. I can understand your anger, but it was your son’s birthday, not your MIL’s birthday or another celebration that you could just walk away. Also, it would, it set a precedent with your husband about your feelings and his mother’s behavior. If after that he decides to play blind with her actions, that’s another thing, but at least you explain largely how disrespectful you felt and what she keeps doing to make you feel that way, so nobody can play “surprised” if you decide to stay away from those situations were there’s food involved and your MIL is the organizer. © Alejandra Falcón / Facebook

• The MIL knew what she was doing. Leaving your son’s celebration wasn’t the best response because it was your son’s day. Because she made that retort in front of everyone, you should’ve said something snide in return with a smile whilst biting a cheese cube and ordering a vegetarian meal from DoorDash. © Anna Miniss / Facebook
• You were wrong. You made your son’s birthday about you. Next time take your own food as your witch of a mother-in-law likes to play games. © Linda French / Facebook

What would you do in Antonia’s place?

Unfortunately, conflicts with mothers-in-law are common for many women. Here’s another story of a similar situation.