10 Relationship Mistakes That Can Lead to a Break Up
Many married couples will tell you that their life does change after getting married, but in positive ways. They look at life as a couple and not individually and they also fight for their love harder. However, sometimes couples change their opinions after getting married, something that can create massive problems. The same applies to unmarried couples, who have to face their own big issues.
Now I’ve Seen Everything wishes all couples to be happy, but unfrotunately there are some behaviors that destroy their union.
1. Changing your views on moving
Though this may seem obvious, people might neglect to talk about this before they get married. Whether they should settle in the countryside or the city could make a huge difference in the life they’re about to share. It might also lead to dissatisfaction if one of the spouses wants to live in an apartment and the other dreams of living in a house with a porch out front. Arguments could break out if one expects to live near their friends or family while the other thinks the home is only a temporary abode.
2. Not living in the moment together
Spending quality time together is very important for a relationship. Couples that do this are more satisfied in their relationships. That’s because they share experiences that bring them closer together. But it’s important to remember that it’s quality time that matters over quantity. Lack of communication is one of the most important reasons for a break up.
If you watch a movie together or just sit on the same couch all day but mind your own business the whole time, you don’t spend any quality time with one another. Try to do things that make you interact, like playing games or taking a walk together.
3. Not liking yourself
Not liking yourself in a relationship can be exhausting, especially if you don’t like who you’ve become because of your partner. Maybe you’ve distanced yourself from your family that you love, or feel less motivated to try to achieve your goals because of them. If your partner is constantly bringing you down in any way, instead of inspiring and being supportive, it’s time to cut them out of your life.
4. Being negative towards your partner’s friends
Scientists analyzed the relationship of 373 couples, over 16 years of marriage. It turned out that 46% of couples had divorced by their 16th year of the marriage, and oftentimes the husband’s criticism of his wife’s friends in the first year of their marriage predicted that break in the future.
According to scientists, this is due to the fact that relationships between women and their friends, which are characterized by emotional closeness and support, last longer, while male friendship more often depends on joint activities. Accordingly, it is easier for men to change the circle of their communication and more difficult to come to terms with their wife’s friends, who they find unpleasant.
5. Not talking before marriage about whether you want kids
Not everyone who wants to get married wants to have kids. And even if both spouses want children, there are other things to discuss, such as parenting styles, what you’d do if the kids have disabilities, or how you’d react if they grew up to be different than what you expected.
6. Not respecting boundaries
It might happen in a relationship that instead of two people, a “we” appears. It becomes hard to differentiate between you and your partner. You might also get so comfortable that you start mistaking your needs for your partner’s needs, breaking into their personal space.
Try not to be intrusive and respect your partner’s boundaries. Also, don’t take offense if their needs don’t match yours. Even though you’re close, you’re still two different people with separate sets of needs.
7. Being too unpredictable and intense
Some people can be nice and charming one moment, and then suddenly angry the next. This behavior can make you feel scared and intimidated, and like you always need to walk on eggshells around them to prevent triggering them even in little ways. That means your partner is emotionally volatile.
It can be because they have anxiety or depression, or because of anger issues. These things can be dealt with. But if your partner isn’t acknowledging the problem and isn’t willing to work on themselves, you should choose what’s best for you and leave this relationship that makes you feel scared and confused.
8. Sleeping on a narrow bed
Spouses should sleep separately or on a very wide bed for their mental and physical health, to get good sleep, and for a healthy environment in the family. Scientists studying sleep problems have found that 30-40% of couples sleep in different beds. And that’s actually good because poor quality sleep can lead to divorce. Therefore, if you want to keep your relationship strong, make sure you sleep well.
9. Not splitting your chores
Chores might seem like a trivial thing to talk about, but they could be a trigger for a full-blown fight. This is because a person might feel overwhelmed doing all the chores by themselves. To make sure that there’s peace in the house, it would be better to talk about the chores each person is in charge of.
10. Threatening to leave your partner
If your partner threatens to leave you, for example during fights, or when they can’t make you do what they want, this might be a form of psychological manipulation. They’re using your fear of abandonment to control you. This controlling behavior might extend to different areas of your life, so it’s important to recognize it and put a stop to it before you get hurt.
What do you think are the biggest mistakes that couples make and end up breaking up or getting a divorce?