My SIL Secretly Conducted a DNA Test on My Daughter but Was Unprepared for My Response

A 30-year-old man shared his story on Reddit. He is raising his 6-year-old daughter alone, but some people in his circle couldn’t leave it alone. His sister-in-law decided to run a DNA test on the girl without asking him.

He wrote:

“I am a 30-year-old man, and I have a 6-year-old daughter. I am not biologically related to her; there is no blood relation between us. I had been friends with her mother for most of my childhood. We were never romantically involved and remained just friends. She had her daughter at 23 with her 25-year-old husband. When she was still a newborn, they both passed away in an accident.

So following the tragic deaths of my friend and her husband, I adopted their baby, Lily. Both my friend and her husband had difficult family backgrounds and no siblings, so there was no ’next of kin’ for Lily to go to. However, because I was close with them, I was able to adopt her. Although I was uncertain about having kids, I didn’t want Lily to grow up in foster care or with people who had no connection to her biological parents, so I stepped in.”

He went on explaining:

“My parents and siblings are aware that my daughter is not biologically mine. Lily also knows she’s adopted. I never hid this from her—she knows her parents are deceased. Lily doesn’t resemble me at all; she looks exactly like her biological mother and father. Most people assume I’m her biological dad and that she just takes after her mom, but I don’t usually correct them since it seems unnecessary.

My brother has been with his fiancée for about two years now. A few weeks ago, we were all meeting at my parents’ house when my sister-in-law (SIL) saw an old photo of me and my friend (Lily’s mom.) She pointed to my friend and asked who she was. I told her she was Lily’s mom.

SIL got quiet and stared at the picture for a while, but I didn’t think much of it. To clarify, she knew my friend had passed away, but I guess she didn’t know my friend had been married or that Lily wasn’t my biological daughter. She must have assumed Lily was my and my friend’s biological child.”

He added:

“Then, the next day, she ran a DNA test on Lily behind my back, using my brother’s DNA for comparison. When the results showed that they weren’t related, she realized that Lily wasn’t my biological daughter. She came up to me and waved the results in my face, claiming that I was raising a dead woman’s affair baby. She said this in front of my daughter and family. I stared at her for a moment, then burst out laughing.

I told her I was fully aware Lily wasn’t my biological daughter and that it’s called adoption. Her face turned red, and she stormed off. Now, my brother is upset, claiming I embarrassed his fiancée. But I think she embarrassed herself by testing a child who isn’t hers and then flaunting the results.

What did she expect me to do? Break down and abandon my daughter? My brother says she thought she was doing the right thing, and he thinks I’m in the wrong. I don’t feel that way, though, especially since my SIL crossed a serious boundary.”

Other Redditors weighed in with their thoughts on the issue.

• Brother should be appalled his own fiancée didn’t even have the decency to talk to him about it first and let him bring it up with his brother! Methinks, someone watches a bit too many telenovelas and was expecting some sort of big collective gasp and the whole family to be appalled and throw this poor motherless child into the street. © Spinnerofyarn / Reddit
• You are underreacting. I would be pressing charges. You don’t steal my kid’s DNA. And she would never be allowed around my kid alone, between the stolen DNA and the whole she brought this up in front of the child! You do that to hurt. She meant to hurt op, and his daughter. © rexendra / Reddit
• Your brother is marrying an evil, manipulative, sadistic piece of work with no soul. She had no right to do that. It’s not her business. You should be deeply offended. That was aggressive. She meant to do harm to you and your child. She might not be consciously aware of it, but that is what it was. Your brother is making his bed and will lie in it if he chooses. One day she will do something similar to him, and he will need you in his corner. Too bad for him. You can’t talk sense into him. © broke_wing / Reddit

• She said that to you in front of your daughter? Honestly, I would have been pissed. Okay, sure, she believes your daughter isn’t your bio daughter and had a DNA test to prove it. But she did not need to do that in front of your daughter and honestly, if she truly had concerns that your daughter wasn’t your biologically then she should have spoken to you directly instead of getting a secret DNA test. Honestly, who does that? She seems a bit crazy. Good luck to your brother. © Crafty_Special_7052 / Reddit
• She tried to embarrass you with the shocking news your daughter isn’t your daughter, and it backfired spectacularly. Even if you hadn’t adopted your daughter, it’s not her place to do any sort of testing on your daughter. She literally made herself look like the village idiot. © pigandpom / Reddit

The sister-in-law thought she would be the one to uncover a terrible family secret, but that didn’t happen. Here are stories from people who actually discovered dark family secrets.