I Can’t Forgive My MIL Because of What She Did to My Husband, Even Though She Is the Sweetest Mom to Me

One of our readers, a 35-year-old woman named Sarah, is upset because of her complicated relationship with her MIL. Unlike many women who have difficult mothers-in-law, Sarah’s mother-in-law is very kind and has never said anything bad about her. Despite this, Sarah still dislikes her husband’s mother and explained why in a heartfelt letter to us.

Sarah finds true happiness in her second marriage.

Sarah is dealing with a tricky relationship with her in-laws, especially her MIL, Jane. While Jane is a dream MIL for most, she isn’t for Sarah.

In a letter to us, Sarah explained her situation and asked for advice. She wrote, “I know people might judge me, but I need to share my feelings and get some advice.”

Sarah explained, “Mike and I have been married for five years, and it’s our second marriage for both of us. I love Mike — he’s cheerful, funny, and kind. He loves me with all his heart, and we’re very happy, but there’s a problem: his mom, Jane.”

Sarah’s MIL is really nice, but here is a problem.

Sarah said, “Jane is really smart, beautiful, and successful. She’s like a role model for anyone who admires strong people. She’s been a lawyer her whole life and has a great reputation.”

Then Sarah revealed, “I thought Jane would look down on me because of her success, especially after hearing stories about her from Mike. But, to my surprise, she welcomed me into the family with open arms. She’s always been so kind to me, calling me her daughter and complimenting me on everything. Despite all that, I can’t stand her.”

Sarah’s dislike for her MIL stems from a specific reason.

Sarah explained, “I can’t show Jane the same love and care she gives me. It’s because of what she’s done to Mike.”

She continued, “From the start of our relationship, I noticed Mike’s struggles. Despite his outward positivity, he confided in me about his insecurities and depression.”

Sarah recounted, “Jane raised Mike and his older brothers alone. She prioritized her career over her children, especially Mike. She always favored his brothers, praising them for their achievements, while Mike was constantly belittled, being called ’the loser’ and ’hopelessly ignorant’.”

“Mike’s dream was to become a lawyer, like his mother,” Sarah explained. “But Jane’s constant criticism killed his confidence. He never pursued it, convinced he’d fail. It’s affected him deeply.”

While Mike has forgiven his mother, Sarah struggles to do the same.

Sarah noted, “Jane always dreamed of having a daughter. When Mike was born, it shattered her hopes.”

She continued, “Mike doesn’t hold grudges against his mom. He says she wanted the best for her sons. I just can’t forgive her. It feels like she wants me to be the daughter she never had. It’s frustrating and makes me feel like I’m betraying Mike.” She concluded, “I hate her, and I mean it. How can I fix things between us?”

Relationships with MIL can vary greatly. Some may be difficult and disrespectful, causing tension and problems. Others can be wonderful, offering support and kindness beyond expectation. It’s crucial to address any issues openly and honestly, even if they’re tough to confront. Communication is key to resolving conflicts and building positive relationships.